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Masturbation

Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love.

Woody Allen in Annie Hall, 1977
by mandingoe November 8, 2005
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Mental Masturbation

The act of looking up the term "Mental Masturbation". You should have better things to do. Now go do it! Geez!!!
I knew I was wasting time thinking about things that didn't amount to anything useful. So I wondered if I was the only. I looked up "Mental Masturbation" and confirmed it.
by XAlterEgoX December 13, 2015
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Mutual masturbation

Usually practiced in homosexual couples, but it is also done between some straight couples as foreplay.
When you lay down with someone, get in a cuddle type position and mastubate with them.
Some people make out with the person while they do it.
As I laid there, jerking my cock, at the sight of her masturbating next to me, she leaned over and started to make out with me.
This mutual masturbation thing is great!
by Demonic bro December 10, 2013
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Masterdating

When a person (typically a guy) goes out to see a movie, or visits a theme park, or place otherwise mostly occupied by couples or friends,but does this alone. This can cause sympathy from other people that watch them as they purchase tickets or enter the area. This is different from when a person grabs a cup of coffee, or sits in a coffee shop alone for a few minutes, or rents a movie, or eats fast food. Masterdating involves often going to a restaurant alone, and sitting at the table alone, while some people look and either feel bad, or think that the person is a looser, or going to see a movie alone. It is often done by older men that may be widowed, or by people that can't get a girlfriend, or are the "40 year old virgin" type
You: 4 tickets for (name of movie) please
Masterdater behind you: 1 ticket for (name of movie) please

You (thinking) awe, he's alone, i guess he's Masterdating.
by titagula December 12, 2010
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Mental Masturbation

The act of engaging in useless yet intellectually stimulating conversation, usually as an excuse to avoid taking constructive action in your life.
Guy 1: "If only I had taken Cindy to my high school prom, I could have fucked her instead of that loser Jeff and then now she would be my girlfriend."

Guy 2: "Dude, stop that mental masturbation right now and go out and meet a new girl!"
by SweetP April 12, 2005
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Masturbation

a way to stay faithfulto your girl.

you do it cause: youre horny/bored/to kill time/just because its a habit.
masturbation is a great way to relieve horniness or just cause youre bored.
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masturbation

1. America's number one past-time.
2. Reasons why many kittens die.
1.
Dude 1: "Dude you wanna go party or something?"
Dude 2: "Nah... I'm gonna participate in the great American past-time."
Dude 1: "Ahh... masturbation."

2.
Dude 1: "Dude that kitten just died."
Dude 2: "Ahh shit, I shouldn't have masturbated last night."
by thewhorewhoisjerome August 4, 2007
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