loser excuse

when the loser find an excuse to blame the winner for winning

you: how did she win our Fantasy Football League and she was the only female in it.
me: because she cheated. her husband who was in the league adjusted her rosters and picked all her players for her on draft day.
winner: I picked my own team and adjusted my rosters every week. that's the ultimate Loser Excuse.

by moviestacks December 30, 2013

Bad excuses

Synonymous with the name Flóra. Should not be applied in case of rain.

"You are full of bad excuses!"
- "Yes, I know, I should change my name to Flóra"

by James Ficklesticks December 7, 2016

well excuse me thunderfuck

well excuse me thunderfuck, can be used as a rare insult, it’ll shock whoever you’re insulting, that’s how rare it’s used. (get it??? shock?? srry, i love a good pun.)

random man in his parents basement: sTaR wArS tHe LaSt JeDi IsN’t StAr WaRs

person reply to said man: well excuse me thunderfuck,,,, but why did it air in theaters if it wAsN’t sTaR wArS ??

by wheatleydidntdeserve October 17, 2019

applausible excuse

An explanation for your failures, so spectacular that even those you have let down will put their hands together.

Asked why there was no quarterly report, the vp replied, with the straightest of faces, that he had been abducted on his way to the office, given a medical exam by aliens aboard their UFO, and that the alien's dog did actually eat all his paperwork, and he was extremely sorry. An applausible excuse, it seemed, as he got a laugh from the CEO, clapping filled the conference room, and was not fired for two weeks.

by Monkey's Dad March 13, 2020

Carlisle Excuses

Valid Excuses used to explain why you can’t accomplish your job properly.

Guy 1: I can’t do my job because it’s not easy
Guy 2: Quit using Carlisle Excuses

by Afloat Boat February 11, 2021

Hammer Excuse Lung and Lies

Otherwise known as HELL, Hammer Excuse Lung and Lies is a cowardly attempt to escape from obligations by evoking a pretend illness such as Hammer Lung, Black Lung, or Vaginitis.

Wow Dave, you got Hammer Excuse Lung and Lies again and can't take the trash out? OK, hope you feel better bro!

by Ninjaneering February 27, 2023

The Northwest Excuse

Going past the destination/doing more than asked and thus failing to complete an objective.

Son: Mom, you forgot to pick me up.

Mom: I was on my way, but i ended up going to far and went shopping at the mall.

Son: Oh, you're just using the Northwest Excuse

by Embarassed to be a Pilot November 2, 2009