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mike jones

Mike Jones is a “UD” user who frequently posted between 2004–2006. Based on his posts, it’s safe to say he is a Black male in his late 50s to early 60s now. This assumption is based on his post about the “NWA,” a hip-hop crew that found their way into business back in 1986. He also used the N-word, which led me to conclude he might be a POC. (If not, shame on you, mister.)

He also seemed to be pretty active in the ladies' world when he was still young and thriving, considering the number of posts where he talked about b-words and all that stuff.
None of this matters though, as my real and only intent of this post is but one:

Punch 'Em Poker.
Sir, you said in 2004 that this kind of Robin Hood–like poker would be popular all around the world in a few years?
I am very sorry to inform you that it is not.
Never heard of it.
Never seen anyone playing it.
I think you may have misjudged its potential as a well-known card game.
Maybe this poor judgment was induced by your lack of experience.
Since you were presumably 30–35 in that time period, I can’t really be sure though.
All in all: I just wanted to inform you about the missing success of this horse you bid on so greedily.
„Do you know Mike Jones?“
„Yeah. Aint he the guy that wanted everyone to believe in his poker-dreams?“
by Sheldon dooker May 23, 2025
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Mike

Short for Michael in many cultures.

This person is the most common friend to have in multiples for people born in the 1980's through early 1990's due to the extremely high popularity of the name in that era. People in this age group know so many Mikes that they confuse others and themselves frequently in conversation without establishing systems of differentiation. A Mike can be the best and most loyal friend with great personal hygiene and cleanliness skills to match their natural charm. Not all Mikes are created equal.
"Mike's coming over later, is that cool?"

"Which fucking Mike?"
by NickEffinB May 30, 2025
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Masturbating Mike Tyson

When a man’s penis is so long he has to assume the classic Mike Tyson peek-a-boo boxing stance — elbows tucked, fists up by his face — to reach it during masturbation. Typically involves a downward squat and intense focus, resembling a fighter preparing for battle… but for very different reasons.
“Bro, I caught Kyle in the bathroom doing the Masturbating Mike Tyson. Dude looked like he was about to throw hands with his own junk.”
by A Dude Booty Meat June 2, 2025
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Mike

Michael’s usually have a touch of the ‘tism
Person 1: why is Mike just sitting there in a corner?
Person 2: Not sure, although i have a cousin who does something similar at loud places. Maybe he’s autistic?
by Olive8 April 4, 2023
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Thanks Mike

When you friend dies and screws you over, leaving you holding the bag.
Thanks Mike, appreciate cha” Meghan says to Ricky.
by MamaNasty April 5, 2023
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Mike Afton

random person: hi ourple person
michael afton: im called mike afton you ugly thing
by RJZVBloxer_YT' April 7, 2023
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Mike Coxlong

Mike Coxlong is one of the most dangerous diseases that can happen to mankind, primarily to humans called "teachers". This disease puts some people in a coma for the rest of their lives. A total of 126,365 teachers have been diagnosed with this disease. People get this disease through an online quiz game called "Kahoot!", and can only spread if somebody names themselve "Mike Coxlong". If you're a teacher who witnessed the name "Mike Coxlong", refrain from any contact with any other animal or human, as this could spread the virus. Millions of teachers around the globe have died and been put in a coma because of this virus. The only way to avoid this disease is to turn off manual names. Students are the only people who can start the disease. May god have mercy on us all.
Who here in the classroom is named "Mike Coxlong"?
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