Couch Mummy

Someone who is sick with the flu in Chicago and often sleeping on their back on the long couch usually with a backpacker liner with hood enclosed with their face showing or wrapped from shoulders to toe in fleece. The reaction might inspire a few creative nonfiction writers who got the idea from old photos going around. The blanket often used is a full size fleece blanket or something that is not bulky. This would be forced the one who is sick to stay in bed and keep them out of their room mates quarters. This is sometimes borrowed from first aid for when those had gone into shock and get the chills; or hypothermia. This is common in the Chicagoland area; where some would sleep in their friends Chevy Van if has a bed set up but make sure they're secured or a makeshift bed in the back of a older station wagon. Sometimes knocked out while the driver is going around looking for a fix not knowing the person who is under the weather needs an IV.

Way we saw the lady hosting a party in Justice there was some guests under the weather and chugging theraflu like it was Vodka in a mug then coughing up their lungs, one of the guests was Egyptian wrapped and sleeping on the couch. They stuffed the wrapped body in sleeping bag too and placed her on the couch. She was running a high fever and had doctor making a house call. Hence they coined this a Couch Mummy.

by illinoishorrorman January 25, 2019

couch cramp

That ache you get in your muscles when you haven’t gotten off the couch for days. Eventually your muscles start camping from the couch no matter how often you change which side you are lying on.

I haven’t gotten off the couch for three days, you won’t believe the couch cramp I am dealing with right now.

by Case Lee January 26, 2019

Couch troll

To troll live feeds on Facebook relentlessly asking questions about the couch for sale.

Jesse was up all night being a couch troll

by Couch cat February 25, 2019

Couch Callin

Used when someones saying they need to get home to sit on their couch and watch their shows. Basically saying “I need some me time”

Chaz: you trying to hit this party tonight?

Mike: nahh man the couch callin

Chaz: dude you’ve seen the office like thirty times stop being a bitch

by Merle27 February 25, 2019

Couch Creature

A person who spends 95% or more of their time on the couch....They eat on the couch...Sleep on the couch...And play video games either on the Phone or TV ....on the couch...they refuse to use sheets...the fact is the only time one of these people will get up off of the couch is to use the restroom (Hopefully) or to secure food, only to bring it back to the couch to eat it......Showers are very rare and usually in the very early AM hours. Getting rid of one can be tricky and should be well thought out.

Bill: "Dude , Jimmy has been living at our house for 2 weeks since his girl friend tossed him out."
Dude " Yeah and hes starting to smell, hasn't paid for anything, and he hasn't left the house once."
Bill " Left the house, Dude he hasn't gotten off the fucking couch....hes become some sort of Couch Creature.
Dude " I was thinking of lighting the couch on fire to see if he responds."
Bill " Yeah I think its our only hope"

by Stains and Smears May 21, 2019

Couch potato

A lazy fucking shit who can’t get off his ass. These creatures don't eat veg or meat, only snax.

Look at this bitch ass fucking lazy ass fucking bitch cunt prick couch potato dude

by WhiteBoiNibba123 May 24, 2019

Couch Collector

Someone who is never satisfied with the couch they currently have.

Henry: "Dude, my mom keeps buying couches, and then they aren't good enough to her... so we donate them to Salvation Army. But since I'm a guy, I have to move them all. We've had like 5 different couches in the last 2 years!"

Matthew: "Bro.. she a couch collector."

by Phantom649 June 3, 2019