Phantom649's definitions

Definition Dating

When a young naive person falls into lust, they quickly head over to Urban Dictionary to write the equivalent of a love letter. Writing a pointless and inaccurate assessment of the name of the particular wench they are infatuated with, in the hormoment.

Steve: "Did you hear Ron blathering over Skylar? He showed me what he wrote about her on Urban...
He was all like: " she's the most beautiful girl in the world..." and " she is a free spirit.."

Aaron: "Wow, definition dating... what a douche."

by Phantom649 June 3, 2019

Hormoment

Moment influenced by hormones.

Kyle: "Jeff wrote some definition dating love-note about sarah on Urban..."
Ryan: "Wow, he's having a hormoment. I thought only chicks did that.."

by Phantom649 June 3, 2019

Couch Collector

Someone who is never satisfied with the couch they currently have.

Henry: "Dude, my mom keeps buying couches, and then they aren't good enough to her... so we donate them to Salvation Army. But since I'm a guy, I have to move them all. We've had like 5 different couches in the last 2 years!"

Matthew: "Bro.. she a couch collector."

by Phantom649 June 3, 2019

Esteem Posting

Writing a definition about your name on Urban Dictionary, in a flattering manner.
It's all bullshit and you know it, but you're so depressed and pathetic, that you have to manufacture ego-boosts.

Martin: "I caught my sister writing on UD about people with HER name...'

Edwardo: "wow... esteem posting. lame."

by Phantom649 June 3, 2019

Hoe-verhauls

The particular type of garment (often called a jumper) worn by promiscuous young females who have never done a day of hard labor ( or dirty labor, which would require real overhauls) in their life.

Often worn with one shoulder strap hanging down seductively, the hoe-verhauls are just another tool in the temptresses's toolbox.

by Phantom649 June 3, 2019

Abstainaphobia

The irrational fear of having only one sexual mate, or going without sex.
Unfortunately our human biology is 1/2 Tournament Species and 1/2 Pair Bonding.
Physically we want to fuck so much...
but Emotionally we want one person to connect with.

Logically, if you only ever have sex with the one person you love and married, you won't know what you're missing, and the sex you're getting, will be the best you ever had.
Also, couples need to learn eachothers turn-ons...

No one is perfect (unless they're very experienced) which means they have tons of casual sex, which means they are horrible at relationships.
So keep it in your pants, for your own good.

Guy 1 : "I want to fuck atleast 3 girls before I get married... ya know?"
Guy 2: " I want to fuck every bitch, cause that's my biological imperative, but honestly, if you pick the right girl (and get a pre-nup) you'll be fine. Don't need to risk those STDs bro. Sounds like you've got abstainaphobia."

by Phantom649 June 3, 2019

Coupon Ghoul

When your mom sends you to the grocery store, but it couldn't be easy.
-Eggs
-Steak
-shredded cheese
...
NOPE

- 2 for $5 Egglands best Grade A Size Large Offical EB Eggs Garunteed
- 16 oz London Broiler (Nature's Own) Special 2 for 1 BOGO $4.59 with shoppers card
- Strogener's monzorella high quality 16 oz bag, not 20 oz lightly shredded county style sharp cheese
...
(this, but i seriously came home with 30lbs of meat)

George: "BRO, I hate shopping groceries for my mom, she gave me this stupid list of specials and crap. Now I have to read everything!"

John: "Dude, your mom's a Coupon Ghoul."

by Phantom649 June 3, 2019