Test Wank

The act of checking the captain is awake after having a skin full. Usually in a pub toilet.

The good lady wife says I'm on a promise and I've had 8 gins. I'm off for a test wank

by Paul A Radcliffe May 23, 2023

wanked flat

When you masturbate so much your penis becomes flat

The wanker wanked so much he became wanked flat.

by Dlctionarydotcom January 1, 2015

Tip-wank

When you get excited at the prospect of taking loads of stuff to the tip (recycling centre/garbage/refuse whatever international equivalent).

Oh my god you know what we should do today?

What?

Tip-wank!

Yes!

by anonymous May 4, 2024

Deliveroo and wank

The apotheosis of living for the modern middle aged family man. Netflix and chill, for husbands who have long ago abandoned both erotic frisson and euphemism.

"The wife's away, so I'm going to treat myself to a Deliveroo and wank."

"You mean..."

"Yes, a lukewarm curry followed by furious self abuse."

by bighairyotter August 10, 2021

Wank muppet

The sock you use to cover your cock which catches your cum when masturbating.

He is such a wank muppet!

by Christophlambpie August 15, 2023

Pokey bum wank

When Ethan “pokey” parr vigorously prods his anus while masturbating with his thumb and index finger

When Ethan saw the guy, he knew he’d have to go for a pokey bum wank

by Spartanbot2000 September 20, 2018

yorkshire wank

Four blokes in a field having a communal tug

I saw those guys having a Yorkshire wank on the moors few days ago

by James Brucellosis July 9, 2016