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patting the piglet

Masturbating. The female version of the phrase "belting the hog," since a woman's clitoris is pink like a piglet and less aggression is implied in the cute alliterative phrase.
I sometimes rag on my boyfriend for how much he belts the hog, but I'd sure be embarrassed if he knew how much of my week I spend patting the piglet.
by Juniper Kollwitz April 15, 2009
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Painting the shop

Licking the dried remains of crusty shit from someones asshole.
Tom Cruise: I cannot believe how drunk I was last night, I think was painting the shop with someone!

Katy Perry: My favourite things in life are sex and getting my shop painted.
by Fistinator October 14, 2010
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Planting Bulbs

The stuffing of one's testicles into the anus of another.
I was planting bulbs with your mom last night.
by Placebo Nightingale September 21, 2012
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Painting the cistern chapel

Taking a particularly liquid and explosive shit, one that coats the sides of the toilet bowl in brown.
Ugh, that vindaloo last night had me painting the cistern chapel this morning.
by nicknoodles November 27, 2012
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painting curtains

You see that guy in the lounge painting curtains?
by Bigcat69imlovinit June 14, 2017
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Punting on the third strike

So, punting on third strike, yeah it's like when you like throw your knee into the ball and take one for the team and so you could take a base, but you just go punch the picher out and then go for a touchdown #extrainnings cuz bath salts, yeah.
Bitch I'm already Punting on the third strike. do you really even know what I mean?
by Patroncowboyvaquero June 6, 2018
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Painting the Prostate

When one man/buddy takes testosterone cream and puts it on his index or middle finger, inserts it into another man’s anus (usually a work out buddy or team mate), and massages his prostate with the T-cream. Common practice among bodybuilders, and infamous by the fake doctor of the Biogenesis saga.

He would “paint the prostate” of some MLB players and other high end clientele.

Also known as “finger painting”, “prostate painting”, “Dr. T’ing the A” or “rounding 5th base”
#prostate painting #Dr. T in the A #rounding 5th base, #taintpaint, #PPP - professionalprostateplayer, #RPO - Real Players Only, #BiogenesisButtExam #RealProstatesOnly
Aroid: Hey Dr. T, I want cheat my sport more and hit more home runs. Can we do another session?

Dr.T: Of course, Alex. I cannot get enough of seeing your asshole. Bend over and spread your ass cheeks so I can stick my finger in your ass with illegal steroid cream, you know as “painting the prostate”.

Aroid: OMG….I love these “doctor” visits. Will this get me in the Hall of Fame?

Dr. T: Of course not, you stupid fuck

Aroid: Does this make me gay?

Dr. T: Definitely. This makes us BOTH gay.
by Mixsey February 28, 2019
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