birth certificate

The abortion clinic's apology letter to your mother.

Doctor: I'm sorry ma'am, the procedure didn't work. We're sorry, you're going to have a semi-retarded baby boy. I hope this birth certificate helps.

Mother: Uhhh...what?

by JTurskz October 5, 2007

Headshot Certified

Anybody who is professionally trained to fuck up hos headshot style. Preferrably in the leet videogame known as Halo, or any sequels.

"I'm such a dirty ho because cody just fucked me up headshot style. That kid must be HEADSHOT CERTIFIED!"

by BiggestC Hizzle September 20, 2006

Certified Muscle Mommy

A certified muscle mommy is a bad bitch and elite class of females who can deadlift and / or squat a minimum of 225LBS, and are visibly fit + muscular.

“Bro, did you see her pull 225 for reps? That’s a certified muscle mommy”

by paleempress February 24, 2023

Forklift Certified

A Badass that does what he wants. supervisors not HR have power over him. He literally makes the factory move. Without him, the company will go broke

Girls pray for a chance to bed him.

I would've got fired because I have 79 points.... But I'm FORKLIFT CERTIFIED

by Hdhdgdg ok dh August 12, 2023

certified twenty

used to describe a person of the opposite sex (or same sex if ur into that) that is a twenty on a ten scale.

Yo, check out the certified twenty in the corner ova there.

by Elaine April 16, 2005

Certified Ripper

One that drives like hell on any road

Chris is definitely a certified ripper.

by Redneck509 January 13, 2020

J+ Certified

the act of perfection. completing or doing something beyond what was expected. going obove and beyond. being approved by jong, the perfect person. without flaws or defects.

claudio completed that course, got an A+ but really produced work worthy of being j+ certified.

by frankg January 18, 2008