A male of the mentally challenged variety who enjoys showing up thirty minutes late to everything, crying while masturbating, killing homeless people because he is protected under the Second Class Citizen Law, and trying to bone highschool girls.
Jordan: Hey, i thought your friend was going to be here by now.
Jay: Yeah, it’s Jared so he’ll be 30 minutes late as usual.
Jay: Yeah, it’s Jared so he’ll be 30 minutes late as usual.
by wewuzanonymous October 4, 2018
Get the jaredmug. A kick or punch to the genitals.
More specifically, this is the alternative to a dare in the game Truth or Dare. If one takes the dare and decides after having heard the dare that they don't want to do it, that person must then accept the Jare.
Also referred to as "Dick Kick" or "Poon Punch."
More specifically, this is the alternative to a dare in the game Truth or Dare. If one takes the dare and decides after having heard the dare that they don't want to do it, that person must then accept the Jare.
Also referred to as "Dick Kick" or "Poon Punch."
Billy: I dare you to lick the rim of the toilet bowl.
Timmy: Hell no! I'm not doing that, it's disgusting!
Billy: THEN PREPARE TO BE JARE'D!
Timmy: Hell no! I'm not doing that, it's disgusting!
Billy: THEN PREPARE TO BE JARE'D!
by atomicrebirth October 16, 2008
Get the Jaremug. a person whos name is jared duh. hes weird and random at times and he also sings annoying songs that get stuck in my head. blahzerz!
jeny: jared your soo weird
jared: no u!
jeny: jk your cool
jared: no u!
jeny: aww thanks teehee!!
jared: no u!
jeny: k.. getting annoying now.
jared: lalalala
jeny: ah my ears!
jared: no u!
jeny: jk your cool
jared: no u!
jeny: aww thanks teehee!!
jared: no u!
jeny: k.. getting annoying now.
jared: lalalala
jeny: ah my ears!
by jeny March 3, 2008
Get the jaredmug. 
(v.) the act of sodomizing an unsuspecting homosexual negroid; often results in the contraction of AIDS. When jareding, the perpetrator lures in a pack of niggers with a bucket of fresh KFC. As the apes feast on the chicken, he thoroughly inspects them, searching for the one with the largest, most African elephant dick.
Although penises with piercings and other tribal deformities are preferred, the largest cock will suffice for jareding. Once a suitable porch monkey is selected, he will coerce the creature with pictures of female apes. As the negroid achieves a massive erection, the jareder will sneak up and position his well greased anus above the shaft.
In one swift motion, the perpetrator impales his ass on the cock and rides it like a cowboy from Brokeback Mountain, eventually causing the negroid to ejaculate. In the final step of jareding, the sick fuck will proceed to collect the semen and pour it over fresh chalupas, as he is usually 13 year old faggot Taco Bell fanboy. As he eats the chalupas, the jareder smiles with joy stroking his tiny 2.3" dick to a picture of Jack Bauer, contemplating his next victim.
Although penises with piercings and other tribal deformities are preferred, the largest cock will suffice for jareding. Once a suitable porch monkey is selected, he will coerce the creature with pictures of female apes. As the negroid achieves a massive erection, the jareder will sneak up and position his well greased anus above the shaft.
In one swift motion, the perpetrator impales his ass on the cock and rides it like a cowboy from Brokeback Mountain, eventually causing the negroid to ejaculate. In the final step of jareding, the sick fuck will proceed to collect the semen and pour it over fresh chalupas, as he is usually 13 year old faggot Taco Bell fanboy. As he eats the chalupas, the jareder smiles with joy stroking his tiny 2.3" dick to a picture of Jack Bauer, contemplating his next victim.
Blake: My asshole is feeling really tight, you wanna go jared tonight?
Jared: Sure Mr. Locati! I'd love to go, although I call dibs on your freshly made semen-covered tacos, I'm too much of a curly headed fucking jew to pay for Taco Bell! Did I mention I'm gay?
Jared: Sure Mr. Locati! I'd love to go, although I call dibs on your freshly made semen-covered tacos, I'm too much of a curly headed fucking jew to pay for Taco Bell! Did I mention I'm gay?
by Von Cockenberg January 3, 2011
Get the jaredmug. a total stud from Cali.
my boyfriend, my favorite, my love.
loves the Lord, loves his friends, loves his family.
will someday be an amazing husband and dad.
needs to come eat a mango with me, enjoys breakfast food, hates cherry flavored items. he's a eagle scout.
and he's mine.
my boyfriend, my favorite, my love.
loves the Lord, loves his friends, loves his family.
will someday be an amazing husband and dad.
needs to come eat a mango with me, enjoys breakfast food, hates cherry flavored items. he's a eagle scout.
and he's mine.
by Kelcy February 6, 2008
Get the Jared mug. a gay right handed man that thinks he is good at everything and feels that google is the beholder of all.
I'm right,my name is jared.
by battery8765 January 3, 2009
Get the jaredmug.