turtled up

When a guy gets so cold, his dick draws up inside himself to the point of looking as though he may be uncut, even though he isn't.

Man, it's so damn cold in here I was turtled up and had to pull my dick out of myself just to take a leak.

I think... but it was so damn long I forget, I have a hangover and I'm gonna need chemo.

by dj_nafi November 25, 2014

Turtle dick

Someone that takes a long time to get an erection

"did you sleep with tom last night?"
"no, he had a turtle dick."

by Hairyboy2000 January 28, 2015

Turtlemort

1. turtle-who-must-not-be-named

2. any reference to that homicidal turtle

She be like don't say that man. Not Turtlemort. Gonna getcha.

by Just Fly Away May 17, 2015

Turtle Shell On A Monkey Bar

Men who ride Harley's or other cruising type bikes, who wear turtle shell style helmets because they are not driving fast enough to need a full helmet usually. And they ride on a bike that has had custom steering handles installed. The handle bars are usually raised an additional 10 to 12 inches, making the rider appear to be hanging from a monkey bar.

"How bout that turtle shell on a monkey bar, his tiny helmet had huge skulls painted on it and he was barely able to hang onto his monkey bar because it was almost too high..."

by BOSS*bitch June 11, 2015

Turtle

Turtle is someone who is very slow in both moving and thinking

Turtle (TsG|imaTurtle) is a Animal Brother that is both slow in thinking and in moving/making speed, his best friend is Spoder (Tension)
They lift shirt and drop pants and flirt evritiem.

by DictatorNL August 7, 2015

turtleneck sweat

Something all uncircumcised chaps encounter in humid weather, sweat under the hood.
Uncut turtleneck sweater

"My girlfriend always gets major boob-sweat in this weather."
"Oh yeah? You know Jaques the exchange student on the soccer team? He's always going on and on about turtleneck sweat during practice. Which is weird because our uniform is a v-neck"

by Darth Wittious October 20, 2015

turtle

A more subtle name for herpes. The name of someone who studies turtles is a herpetologists. Therefore, herpe- in the name relates to a more subtle way to talk about herpes.

Seth: Dude, my condom broke while I was fucking Sarah.
Alex: Bro!! She's got the turtle!!
Seth: Oh Fuck!!

by Bassproman November 2, 2015