jesus crazy

When a female has an extreme attraction for males with long hair

Nowadays more and more girls are going jesus crazy, and to be honest I kinda am too

by DahHomieJezus August 29, 2017

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Jews for Jesus

Jews for Jesus. You can be a true Jew and love Jesus. Jesus was a Jew!

Jay is a big Jew for Jesus. He married Jesus because the big J is Jay’s bae.

When she prays, she prays to all the names of God and Jesus and more.

They held hands in bed and that’s all. Because Jews for Jesus.

by BeStill December 5, 2019

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Real jesus

A dark-skinned man of Jewish, Israeli descent, in (two) lifetimes revealed himself as god's son, performed many miracles, spurned the beginning of a religion based upon his teachings and those if his father, commonly called the "almighty" or God. Also, he was crucified for his crimes against the caesar of the time's laws and wishes, as well as undermining his authoritah. Real Jesus is commonly misconceived as Jesus Christ and HIS apostles, a whiter, more bearded and thorny-headwear inclined modern interpretation of a clearly Israeli-born man. Jesus Christ, however, was more widely accepted due in no small part to the common skin tone of his followers.

God:Wait, guys, uh....my son wasn't that white...

Vatican:WHATCHU SAAAAAY????

God:No seriously, he was Israeli.

Vatican:Nuh-uh. This guy with the thorn headband is Jesus.

God:Oh, lol, no that's Jesus Christ. I'm talking about my son, Real Jesus. Get it straight.

Vatican:*with fingers crossed* okaaay, we promise we'll change it....

by MariaSharapova December 7, 2010

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jesus and kfc

Code name for Anthony shoving his cock in a piece of chicken and using his piss as dipping sauce.

Wow that guys over there was pulling a Jesus and KFC.

by KFC Hangover February 19, 2015

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Jesus' sake

When annoying guys are bugging you and your boyfriend of why you didn't change your Facebook relationship status

"for jesus' sake! Just because we didn't change our Facebook status doesn't mean it's the end of the world..."

by Bambiloverzz October 28, 2011

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jesus hammond

a modern take on the apocryphal ' jesus christ'. jesus hammond has its roots in the playstation gaming culture of the noughties. use as a non swearing, non elitist statement of frustration.

character one. "what keys? i aint got no keys".
character two.(frustrated) "jesus hammond".

by orangebuzz2000 January 5, 2008

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