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Damian "long shlong" Wood

Definition:
A caffeine-powered computer whisperer who walks the line between genius and glitch. Damian “Long Shlong” Wood isn’t just a man—he’s a chaotic event wearing human skin. He speaks fluent binary, communes with frogs for wisdom, and believes any disaster can be solved if you just Megazord it.

Profile:

Tech Wizard: Fixes computers by glaring at them until the motherboard apologizes. Once coded a working game using only a keyboard missing the “E.”

Frog Lore Scholar: Claims frogs hold the Wi-Fi password of the universe—and somehow everyone believes him.

Megazord Philosopher: His life motto: “When it’s broken, just Megazord it.” Nobody knows what that means, yet it always works.

Professional Gooner: Operates on pure focus and unholy energy; rumored to have transcended sleep during a 72-hour code-and-Red Bull marathon.

Personality:
Chaotically evil in the most helpful way possible. He’ll repair your router, but it’ll play frog croaks on startup afterward. The man radiates the aura of an overclocked raccoon who discovered enlightenment and decided to major in IT.

Legacy:
Some say he was born when a lightning bolt struck a USB hub; others think he’s a firmware update that gained consciousness. Either way, Damian “Long Shlong” Wood remains a walking reminder that science, chaos, and frog memes can coexist.
by geggregmed October 16, 2025
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Wood style

Stroking your penis with both hands and making a pencil shaper like noises, hint the name wood style
Josh: Yo bro, my girl gave me wood style last night

Tom: Holy shit do that’s some crazy wood style she gave you
by Meme_Art_Kid October 24, 2025
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Klaus in the Woods

When you take a girl for jalapeño cheddar smokie lunch and then afterwards fuck her in the ass so you can dig through the shit on your dick to find hot peppers like trying to find mushrooms in the forest.
Newbs keeps trying to feed me his famous spicy jam but I don’t trust it because I’ve heard he loves a Klaus in the Woods.
by TheFamilyCabin November 8, 2025
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Wood-pecking

The act of tapping away at your girlfriend's back/leg with your erect penis to wake her up in bed.
"My wife is forcing me to go to couples counseling for wood-pecking too much."
by God'sMistake November 9, 2025
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Chopped wood

The combination of "chopped" and "morning wood"

It means ugly dick
by Lil.bitofchives November 11, 2025
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PJ Woods and Co Calendar

Calendar full of the craziest days of the year
I checked my bro's calendar to realize it was a PJ Woods and Co Calendar
by RyZ Raps November 12, 2025
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Camp Mosey Wood

Girl 1: How was your week at Camp Mosey Wood?
Girl 2: Good, but I think I might be a lesbian
by crwsb November 17, 2025
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