The VHS Theorem

VHS Theorem
aka The Downward-Value Utility Arbitrage Principle
/vee-aitch-es thee-uh-ruhm/

Definition:
A consumer hack for maximum lifestyle value on a pauper budget. The VHS Theorem states: when something’s cultural clout collapses faster than its functionality, its utility-per-dollar skyrockets. In plain English: if it still works but nobody wants it, it’s basically magic.

Mechanics:

Cultural Abandonment – everyone chases the new shiny thing.

Functional Persistence – the old stuff still works fine.

Depression Pricing – sellers panic-sell at rock-bottom prices.

Utility Extraction – you live like a sultan on a scratch-off budget.

Examples:
VHS tapes, DVDs, old game consoles, CRT TVs, secondhand instruments, cast iron, estate sale gold — basically anything that fell out of fashion but still functions.

When culture abandons it, the wise inherit it.

“Picked up 50 VHS tapes for $20 and watched classics all weekend. Totally The VHS Theorem at work, my man!"

by NakedEdmund December 17, 2025

Infinite Funny Theorem

1. When you create a new funny via forgetting the original funny, thus theoretically creating a source of infinite funny; When humor originates from the setup of a joke but the punchline being forgotten in a comedic fashion

2. The Scientific Theory that, if an immortal monkey spent all of eternity clicking on random keys on a keyboard, it would eventually write every joke that could possibly be conceived.

Rick: "Hey, I heard a funny joke the other day! So, a Tibetan Monk walks into a bar in order to observe the lifestyle of people living in a first world country and an urban setting, and then-"
Vick: "Wow, he walked into a bar? That must've hurt!"
Rick: "Haha, you fucking moron, that's not what I meant you failed excuse of a human being."
Vick: "So... where's the funny?"
Rick: "Oh, I forgot I was supposed to be telling a joke-"
Vick: "Hah! You forgot the funny!"
Rick: "No, it's the infinite funny theorem. By forgetting the funny, I've created another funny."
Vick: "Wow, that's pretty funny!"
Pause for laughter. If it does not ensue, then your friends are not based enough.

by Based Guitar December 20, 2020

Farrell’s Theorem

Even worse than Murphy’s Law. Farrell’s Theorem states that anything that can go wrong will not gl wrong, just simply do something even worse can happen instead. This also provides comedic effect.

Due t Farrell’s Theorem Franklin missed getting hit by the car, just so the bus behind could obliterate him.

by Slydog11 December 17, 2021

Grumulum's Theorem

When you don't know what you're doing, but you get it right anyway.

A: How did you get the correct answer on this test when you're failing the class?
B: I just used Grumulum's Theorem.

by RealCraigles January 25, 2024

Lion king theorem

When two people have an argument. They play the lion king movie in the background, one guy can only speak while simba is on screen and the other may speak while simba is off screen.

The presidential debate is on tonight ? Fuck a mediator let’s use the lion king theorem.

by Spinter April 22, 2021

The Hitler Theorem

The Hitler Theorem is in relation to how a stimulus affects you negatively day by day more than Adolf Hitler does. If something affects you worse than Adolf Hitler, then The Hitler Theorem can prove objectively that the stimulus is worse than Adolf Hitler.

"I'm tired of all this work my teacher is assigning me! It annoys me more than Adolf Hitler does, therefore according to The Hitler Theorem this homework is worse than Adolf Hitler!"

by Theoremist November 22, 2023

Lodge's Incompleteness Theorem

The assertion that no food identification system can be both comprehensive and unambiguous

Lodge's Incompleteness Theorem questions whether a slice of quiche a toast or a taco under the Cube Rule of Food Identification.

by kingwotzit July 19, 2023