Bidet-ing

The act of using your mouth as a fountain to clean someone’s asshole

Hey babe, we’re out of toilet paper and I could really use a good bidet-ing right now

by Jack Smashers April 26, 2020

Human Bidet

the human Bidet can be done solo, with two people, and even with a group. a solo human Bidet is when you take a shit and you pee while still sitting down and it rolls down your nut and taint and cleans your bum. the human Bidet with a partner is the same, but one person gets up and the other pisses on their bumhole, this one is much more effective. the group human Bidet is the same but with a bunch of people pissing on the poopers bumhole, this is the most effective variant.

"dear diary, today I shitted and ran out of kittens to wipe with, but thankfully I peed and it was a human Bidet, so it was ok in the end"

"hey playbou carti can you give me some human Bidet"

"precinct 6 get to hemorrhoid street ASAP, there's a guy here who needs some group human Bidet"

by clogmethroatwithshitmrdiddy August 3, 2024

Appalachian bidet

When you have run out of toilet paper and you call your cousin Cletus or equivalent to come and do you a solid and use his stream of urine to clean your chocolate covered starfish.

“Yeah I ran out of toilet paper and I had to give my cousin a call to come and give me an Appalachian bidet to get clean.”

by Loganjaman August 16, 2023

Redneck bidet

Carefully pinching your anus as a log is dropping to create a splash, creating enough of a splash to clean your asshole

Went drinking last night and I’m stuck at work w/ swamp ass
on a 12 hour shift w/ no baby wipes , just had to do a redneck bidet

by Falkowitz December 8, 2020

Quebec Bidet

When you gracefully leave an upper decker, then use the bowl water to clean yourself afterwards.

Fuck bud, so I was at the corner store and buddy had no shit tickets, so I had to leave an upper decker and use the quebec bidet.

by HighstrikeGTR October 18, 2020

Bidet

Giving yourself a bidet

When you poop and the toilet water splashes up at your butthole

Guy 1: I just gave myself a bidet!
Guy 2: you must’ve had a huge poop!

by boboobobobob December 6, 2019

Scotch Bidet

The art of washing ones rectum with the shower head after dropping the kids off at the pool.1

There was no toilet paper left in the shop so I've had to resort to using the Scotch Bidet

by Bigcid March 21, 2020