bent bert 

a right angled penis, ususally do to over bangage of the female ass

"Oh shit, I gave myself a bent bert last night "

bent bert by Greg Satin January 15, 2003

Chabby Bert 

A smoking hot man with a mega shlong and amazing taste

You are a Chabby Bert, hand me your cock

Chabby Bert by BoobLoverJing January 13, 2021

doughnut bert 

The popular fantasy, pairing the flamboyant rock star, Adam Lambert,(and his glambulge) with a doughnut. First mentioned in a Fan Fic, there is no doubt anyone who claims to be a devoted Glambert knows about this pairing.

boy: "I bought doughnuts at the store yesterday"

Glambert: "omg! doughnut bert!"

doughnut bert by youreaglambert October 20, 2010

Talking to Bert 

This phrase is commonly used to describe the means to jack-off, or as some say masturbate, as an excuse to doing something.

This term Bert comes from Master Bert, a member of Seasme Street. Which is also subliminal messaging.

Guy: Hey pal, why didn't you come hang out last night?
Pal: Oh sorry! I had an important phone call. I was talking to Bert.

You can also play with Bert, dance with Bert or pretty much do anything you can think of with him. Bert is basically another way of saying jacking off.

Talking to Bert by macpolo11 July 22, 2011

Big Bad Bert 

A being of such power, that if any women are in a 50 meter radius they squirt.

"Oh no, here comes Big Bad Bert."
"I Heard he makes the bitties squirt."

Big Bad Bert by Mechajuarez August 20, 2012

Big BERT 

Loves to hook up on the couch of his mates. Always misses penalties, Loves blondes, Cronulla Sharks and Wanderers. Loves to simp and ditch his footy teams.

James: What is Big BERT up to?
Ethan: He's getting a cheeky root on your couch.
James: The sharks get him in a mood innit.
Ethan: I think it's the blondie that he's with actually.

Big BERT by King Kolamc May 23, 2021

jam&bert 

abbreviations of names;
jam = james
bert = robert
-people who fulfil these characteristics; inseparable since birth OBV. share a birthday sometime in february. live two doors apart from each other + gladys lives between them at number 17. same schools. bmfl's ;D

jam: yo we is in bradford because that is TOWN, not halifax, that is not town.
bert: :M ye.
char: hahahahah look at that man, hahaha. hahhahahahahhahahaha.
jam&bert: char, you talk posh..
char&laura: nonononono
gaz: yeyeyyeye proper do.

jam&bert by triangle-ee February 4, 2009