ballistic wank

A ballistic wank is where you masturbate but don't catch your load, causing it to be fired like a projectile across the room... This is usually done in hotel rooms and rental properties where the landlord is a douchebag

That hotel room was a disgrace so I decided to have a ballistic wank before I checked out

by Flat.Turd June 2, 2020

Wank muppet

The sock you use to cover your cock which catches your cum when masturbating.

He is such a wank muppet!

by Christophlambpie August 15, 2023

Crazy Wank

The act of viciously masturbating fully naked for over 5 minutes. Throughout the process the subject uses his hand to stroke his penis to near ejaculation, then the subject relaxes for a bit. Then the subject continued to slightly stroke his penis and then he uses a sex toy (store bought or hand made) and places it in a position where it won't move around a lot and the subject viciously fucks the sex toy until near ejaculation. Then the subject is free to experiment with unusual kinds of sexual acts (ex: finger in the bum, other masturbation teqniques, other kinky fetishs). Then once the subject is satisfied withhimself and ready to ejaculate, he must use up the rest of the lube on his penis and hands, and then it is time for the last hurrah. The subject firmly grasps his penis and then he strokes it much faster and harder and it should give the individual a sensation of both mild pain and crazy erotic pleasure. The individual moans to make the procedure much more impactful and when he reaches the climax, the procedure is complete.

Carl: bro I just haven't jacked off at all recently. I'm just not into it anymore

Eddie: last night I had a CRAZY WANK and I will tell you, I changed my life!

by Derkadurr August 5, 2017

Schizo-Wank

Jacking off to a person/character that you’ve made up in your head.

Guy 1: How you doing man?

Guy 2: Not good my man. I’m such a fucking loser virgin that I just had a Schizo-Wank.

Guy 1: Damn you’re down bad man.

Guy 2: Yeah it’s a lonely world man.

by AutonomicAutist July 9, 2024

wank rat

A wank rat is someone that goes around trying to get off everyday any time any place. Similar to a fuck boy. Also may give off nasty odor.

Look at Scott once a rank rat always a rank rat
Dont go to that party just a bunch of wank rats

by All American Dream Boy January 12, 2016

Buttery Wank

When you or a loved one uses a stick of buttery (preferably slightly melted) as lubrication to jerk off.

After a long day of hard work I was gifted a buttery wank from my girlfriend.

by LMSnih October 14, 2025

Wank hand

Wank hand is the term used to describe witch particular hand was used in the event of frequent wank sessions.

Person 1: oi mate, geez a handshake!
Person 2: nah man that's your wank hand, that is!

by Lugzy_yt November 1, 2019