jazz hands

Ejaculating into your hand after realizing you have no toilet paper.

"oh dear, no toilet paper......urgh, jazz hands it is then"

by richyrichyrichyrichy April 12, 2007

Hand Job

A manicure.

I went into the spa and asked for a hand job. They sat me down at a table and the technician across from me buffed my nails, trimmed my cuticles, and massaged lotion into my hands. It was a relaxing experience and I left satisfied.

by Grammy in the Red House January 17, 2010

Jazz Hands

When a persons hands shake uncontrolably from alcohol withdrawl.

Man, Just thinking about an ice cold beer right now is giving me a mean case of Jazz Hands!

by Blanket boy May 26, 2009

ham-hands

the uncontrolable desire of masturbating with a glazed porkroast

Watch out sir, he's got the ham-hands today...

by James Corvarse January 19, 2005

Left handed

Someone who is left handed is the devil's child. If you know anyone who is left handed, call the police to perform a ritual on them.

*At the basketball gym*
Some random guy: yo why are you so good with your left hand?
Me: Oh I'm left handed.
Them: NO GET AWAY

by follow me @AMerryHalloween November 10, 2019

hand dickin

When a male human warms his hands by placing them down his pants and gently caressing his testicles and penis. This is not a sexual act, it just feels fucking good.

1. Hey, I think its time to do some hand dickin.
2. This hand dickin feels good.

by q1w3r78 December 5, 2010

misplaced hand

A misplaced hand occurs when someone tries to feel up another person and that person then has to move the hand away (usually to the hip or worst case off the person all together). Most people will get the hint that the area is off limits however sometimes the misplaced hand is misonstrued as playing "hard to get" leading to further embaressment.

After an enjoyable makeout session, maria had to put billys misplaced hand in check. It was only the 2nd date and he had to do some more wining and dining before he could move to 2nd base.

by inspectah gadget April 20, 2010