Phantom Load

The mysterious (and some say, nonexistent) phenomenon, sometimes known as the faked male orgasm, is better known as a phantom load.

"The strangest thing happened."
"What?"
"After sex, last night I saw the condom John used, but it was... empty."
"How could that be?"
"I know, it's so weird! He acted like he finished, but I guess it was just a phantom load."

by Neologian-PJG August 26, 2013

Phantom Wank

When a male sits on his hand until numb then has a wank so it feels like someone else is doing it.

I felt particularly lonely so i had a phantom wank, to pretend i have a friend.

by Cleggfu September 15, 2013

Phantom Caca

The sensation that you get when you have to take a shit, only to find out as soon as you sit on toilet that at most it was just a fart. Not to be confused with sharting.

I must have been nervous because I thought I had to go to the bathroom but it turned out to just be phantom caca.

by pitufa May 10, 2014

phantom shiter

Someone who shits in people's school bags or back packs

Guy: oh I must just get my backpack
Guy:what the hell is that smell

Guy: OMG the phantom shiter strikes agian

by Therealgal February 8, 2014

Phantom Turd Snake

When a person feels they have let out the longest log turd of all time, only to look in the toilet and see a rabbit pellet looking shit. The feeling is most disappointing for twitter shitters everywhere.

"I was going to tweet about this giant shit I took, but alas it was a phantom turd snake."

Not to be confused with "phantom shit"

by Stephanie Sunfire October 19, 2014

Phantom Gay

A boy who pretends to be a homosexual in hopes of girls being comfortable enough with him to show him, or even let him touch, their ass or tiddies.

Boy 1: I told Melissa that I'm gay and she invited me to the girls sleepover!
Boy 2: So, you're a phantom gay.
Boy 1: Yup and I'm sure hoping to see some tits tonight.
Boy 2: Oh what a brave soldier you are.

by squid feet April 1, 2020

The Ass Phantom

A supposed paranormal apparition who often causes feces to disappear immediately following defecation.

"I was taking a shit and when I looked down to see the monstrous log I had created, it was gone! Nowhere to be seen!"

"Dude that sounds like you've been visited by The Ass Phantom"

"Spooky!!!"

by TheAssPhantom April 30, 2013