by BrownieMate March 29, 2020
Get the thicc chicc mug.A private school in Lincoln Park for privileged Chicagoans that advertises on the back of buses. Nancy Reagan went there, and her husband is responsible for the War on Drugs.
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Chicago Ted is the greatest man to ever live. Long ago, in the Himalayas, the abominable snow man mated with a dragon. Their offspring then mated with Mount Everest, resulting in quite an odd creature, but oh... was it powerful. This creature then mated with a woman in the year 1970. After three years of pregnancy, the woman gave birth to a boy with a name unpronounceable by the human tongue in Chicago. As soon as it first opened it's eyes, the United States had a stock market crash. (See 1973 Stock Market Crash.) He weighed 28 pounds. It was pure muscle.
When the zombie outbreak occurred, he battled the zombies by hand from Chicago to Pennsylvania, where he ascended a steel mill and created a steel coffin.., for himself. He then buried himself 68 feet underground, while inside the coffin, out of sheer will. He awaits there to this day, for when the dead walk the Earth again, so will Chicago Ted.
When the zombie outbreak occurred, he battled the zombies by hand from Chicago to Pennsylvania, where he ascended a steel mill and created a steel coffin.., for himself. He then buried himself 68 feet underground, while inside the coffin, out of sheer will. He awaits there to this day, for when the dead walk the Earth again, so will Chicago Ted.
"The Witch cries because she knows Chicago Ted is coming."
"I saw Chicago Ted piss out a forest fire, and then kill the survivors... kind of a jerk if you ask... OH SHI--- *bones breaking.*"
"Chicago Ted came into my store, and took everything he wanted. He then murdered my first born son. Later on, it turned out that these exact actions saved the planet. I don't know how, but I trust him."
"Chicago Ted looked exactly like I pictured him, Tall, Dark, Masculine, and Naked. He had a bottle of expensive whiskey in one hand, a cigar in another, and he was having sex with my cousin, while interrogating a suspected terrorist."
"I watched him crawl out of the plane wreckage and he grabbed me by my arm and pulled me out of the wreckage, gave me a bottle of Everclear, and a pipe bomb and said, 'It's every man for himself, kid.' He then shot the bottle, igniting both me and the pipe bomb. I survive today because he says I can."
"I saw Chicago Ted piss out a forest fire, and then kill the survivors... kind of a jerk if you ask... OH SHI--- *bones breaking.*"
"Chicago Ted came into my store, and took everything he wanted. He then murdered my first born son. Later on, it turned out that these exact actions saved the planet. I don't know how, but I trust him."
"Chicago Ted looked exactly like I pictured him, Tall, Dark, Masculine, and Naked. He had a bottle of expensive whiskey in one hand, a cigar in another, and he was having sex with my cousin, while interrogating a suspected terrorist."
"I watched him crawl out of the plane wreckage and he grabbed me by my arm and pulled me out of the wreckage, gave me a bottle of Everclear, and a pipe bomb and said, 'It's every man for himself, kid.' He then shot the bottle, igniting both me and the pipe bomb. I survive today because he says I can."
by KevinSpacey March 31, 2009
Get the Chicago Ted mug.At the party she asked me if I wanted to go outside to check out the grounds. She gave me that look and.... bow chica bow bow...
by A name like lots of others August 17, 2005
Get the bow chica bow bow mug.by George Kotyck November 9, 2003
Get the downtown Chicago mug.Used to be the worst NHL franchise, but is now one of the best. Led by Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews.
by gksohyes July 8, 2010
Get the Chicago Blackhawks mug.one kickass town, home of the sears tower, hancock building, the navy pier, kapone, some kickass rappers like twista. If you can't hang here, don't bother trying. I live in the 'burbs though, but i've been therre plenty of times.
Chicago Kicks Ass
by mr. johnny March 5, 2004
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