An internet networking site. Generally people sign up so they can keep in touch with those they don't see often. Extremists--generally teenagers through those in their mid-twenties--sign up so they can be with everyone they know all the time. It is an obsessive practice comparable to stalking.
Often people update their status as if they were tweeting on twitter, which is extreme. They are two different sites and should not be treated the same. We do not need to know that you "Really have to pee" then "going to the bathroom" and then "done peeing." We honestly do not care.
Additionally, the number of applications increases almost daily, and there are some which are practically identical: take farmtown and farmville for example. Same concept. Earning money in either is not the same as going out in the real world and getting a job. Speaking of jobs. If you have one, set your facebook to private. Your boss may check it out once in awhile and if he sees pictures of you holding red cups with mysterious liquids inside, that may be grounds for a breathalyzer and or urine test before your next shift.
Also, facebook is not real life. The number of people who add you as friends does not equate the number of friends you actually have. Realistically you probably only have 10% of that number in real life...if that. Also, people can attend events that they weren't even invited to. So keep them private people. Public is not safe. No one wants that creepy kid who spends all his time on facebook sifting through the events that everyone is going to and then clicking Attending even though he wasn't invited. That is completely unnecessary and avoidable. You know it happens too. This kid probably also comments on everyone's status updates
On the whole, facebook is a vortex or black hole, if you will, of procrastination. Nothing important happens there, but everyone thinks everything important gets talked about on facebook. It also leads to people feeling left out. For example, if Sheila spent friday night at home with nothing to do she probably would spend it on facebook, and then she would be aware that her best friends Abby, Janie, Babs, and Dolores were all hanging out without her.
This was likely an event that Dolores started and wanted to be private so Sheila wouldn't find out, but the obviously she'd know about it eventually.
How would she know?
because Abby's status would read: Just ate cake at Dolores's.
Janie's would read: "Yellow light!" which is probably some inside joke that Sheila is left out on.
Babs's would say: Haha. I kick ass at apples to apples!
then Dolores's would say: Wow, what a mess! Cleaning up after my killer party.
Then Sheila would know that she doesn't really have friends because she was not invited. Poor Sheila.
Then there are the pictures. Which are almost as depressing as Sheila's situation. Imagine if Sheila had attended Dolores's party. It is likely that there would be no photographic documentation of her attending because she would be the one taking the picture. Yes, the trademark picture on facebook is of people taking pictures of themselves or of them and their friends with an arm outstretched. In the situation above, however, there are too many girls to fit. So why not a mirror picture? you ask. Well Sheila is the fat friend, so she would no doubt be cut off in that mirror. It's a shame. If only Sheila would stop eating her feelings.
The best thing about facebook, is logging on as your friend and changing their language settings. I strongly reccomend English (pirate) it is quite hillarius. Or if you want to be really annoying, pick something with symbols that are impossible to read, and then your friend won't be able to find the settings link and likely never be able to change the language back.
Often people update their status as if they were tweeting on twitter, which is extreme. They are two different sites and should not be treated the same. We do not need to know that you "Really have to pee" then "going to the bathroom" and then "done peeing." We honestly do not care.
Additionally, the number of applications increases almost daily, and there are some which are practically identical: take farmtown and farmville for example. Same concept. Earning money in either is not the same as going out in the real world and getting a job. Speaking of jobs. If you have one, set your facebook to private. Your boss may check it out once in awhile and if he sees pictures of you holding red cups with mysterious liquids inside, that may be grounds for a breathalyzer and or urine test before your next shift.
Also, facebook is not real life. The number of people who add you as friends does not equate the number of friends you actually have. Realistically you probably only have 10% of that number in real life...if that. Also, people can attend events that they weren't even invited to. So keep them private people. Public is not safe. No one wants that creepy kid who spends all his time on facebook sifting through the events that everyone is going to and then clicking Attending even though he wasn't invited. That is completely unnecessary and avoidable. You know it happens too. This kid probably also comments on everyone's status updates
On the whole, facebook is a vortex or black hole, if you will, of procrastination. Nothing important happens there, but everyone thinks everything important gets talked about on facebook. It also leads to people feeling left out. For example, if Sheila spent friday night at home with nothing to do she probably would spend it on facebook, and then she would be aware that her best friends Abby, Janie, Babs, and Dolores were all hanging out without her.
This was likely an event that Dolores started and wanted to be private so Sheila wouldn't find out, but the obviously she'd know about it eventually.
How would she know?
because Abby's status would read: Just ate cake at Dolores's.
Janie's would read: "Yellow light!" which is probably some inside joke that Sheila is left out on.
Babs's would say: Haha. I kick ass at apples to apples!
then Dolores's would say: Wow, what a mess! Cleaning up after my killer party.
Then Sheila would know that she doesn't really have friends because she was not invited. Poor Sheila.
Then there are the pictures. Which are almost as depressing as Sheila's situation. Imagine if Sheila had attended Dolores's party. It is likely that there would be no photographic documentation of her attending because she would be the one taking the picture. Yes, the trademark picture on facebook is of people taking pictures of themselves or of them and their friends with an arm outstretched. In the situation above, however, there are too many girls to fit. So why not a mirror picture? you ask. Well Sheila is the fat friend, so she would no doubt be cut off in that mirror. It's a shame. If only Sheila would stop eating her feelings.
The best thing about facebook, is logging on as your friend and changing their language settings. I strongly reccomend English (pirate) it is quite hillarius. Or if you want to be really annoying, pick something with symbols that are impossible to read, and then your friend won't be able to find the settings link and likely never be able to change the language back.
"Wow, I have 56 new notifications on my facebook!"
Girl 1:"Hey girl, I feel like we haven't talked in ages!"
Girl 2:"Um hello, we just got done talking on facebook chat!"
"Bye Chelsea, I really wish I could stay. But I have to check my facebook."
Boy 1 attends a facebook event at his buddy's house. Upon his arrival he notices a line of people waiting to us the buddy's computer and check their facebooks.
Boy 1: "Hey, what's the line for?"
Buddy: "Oh, they're waiting to check their facebooks."
Boy 1: "Oh, hey I'm next. I need to know what happened in the two minutes it took me to walk to your house."
Boy 2 (who has just checked his, thenlogged off and walked to the end of the line) Wait your turn kid.
Girl 1:"Hey girl, I feel like we haven't talked in ages!"
Girl 2:"Um hello, we just got done talking on facebook chat!"
"Bye Chelsea, I really wish I could stay. But I have to check my facebook."
Boy 1 attends a facebook event at his buddy's house. Upon his arrival he notices a line of people waiting to us the buddy's computer and check their facebooks.
Boy 1: "Hey, what's the line for?"
Buddy: "Oh, they're waiting to check their facebooks."
Boy 1: "Oh, hey I'm next. I need to know what happened in the two minutes it took me to walk to your house."
Boy 2 (who has just checked his, thenlogged off and walked to the end of the line) Wait your turn kid.
by notsheila September 01, 2009
Just the old school MySpace all over again. All the freaks just moved to Facebook. Even Tom is watching (Mark Zuckerberg claims he runs the site, but for all practical purposes it is Tom) you on Facebook and he probably has more Facebook friends than MySpace friends. Back then, MySpace used to be the "bad" site and Facebook was the "good" site. Then it flipped all over. Right now on Facebook you just see a bunch of annoying 14 -18 year old emo/gangsta girls whining about how their life sucks and whoring themselve to get more likes, because they want people to pay attention to them. It is also cool to be bisexual on there too and to be Engaged to your best friend and have your brothas your actual brothas. And don't forget these pedophiles on there that claim you are your parents so they can stalk and rape these 14-18 year old emo girls. They think they are using it for "work connections" but they are more being pedophiles.
by Kyle 230 August 16, 2010
Website designed with the sole intention of letting college kids continue to stalk their friends which they "collect", and have a nice network of organizing "parties" which are basicaly a bunch of people who congregate to listen to loud crap ass music with little to do except get shit faced and contract STDs. Oh, and going to such events lets you brag to everyone the next day. Face it, they dont think you are cool. They just laugh and say "yeah I heard that shit was off the hook", and then lose that much more respect for you as a person and trash you behind your back. Facebook is often seen as the "classy" version of myspace. Many think they fact that you are in college automaticaly makes you mature, even though these same people dont realize that facebook is just a prettier spin on the same wierd ass way to waste time known as myspace. People who have facebook acounts generaly think that myspace is "gay" and "sloppy" and they dont use it since it is for "losers who go to highschool." In reality, facebook is the same as myspace, only the freaks who continue to have no lives after highschool dont want to admit that they still spend their time the same way they did when they were kids(collecting friends, leaving comments, "pimping" their profile, and checking up on their EXs, which is stalking in my book) hence the "classy" image and fancier name. Those with facebook accounts ought to be honest with themselves, and realize that facebook is just like myspace, your not cool because you use it, its not only for college students as many highschool and even middle school students are jumping on the train, therefore it is not an elitest group, people with both sides of their brain functioning laugh at you, and if you genuinly use a website like myspace/facebook/ect simply to keep up with friends(notice the lack of quotes, this denotes that you genuinly like these people and they like you back, and you actualy care about them and want to keep in contact) after highschool, there is no reason to not just use myspace. If everyone used myspace, it would be that much simpler, instead of trying to create "societies" online for people with different levels of education and levels of intelligence/actual abilities to bond with people. I.E. People with facebook and or myspace acounts and check them more than every now and then tend to have low intelligence and low ability to make actual friends. Some people actualy have nothing better to do with their lives that they create BOTH myspace and facebook accounts.(see dumbass) These people are clearly to vain and mentaly inept to go have an actualy social life, so instead they sit on their computer and read comments full of acronyms(that make no sense and make you sound like a pre pubescent girl writing a love note) and words like "love" and "adore" which are constantly thrown around and therefore lose their meaning. In short facebook is simply a euphemism for myspace, which tends to be embraced by 18-25 "adults" who enjoy denying the reality of their pathetic lives.
by por-sha August 20, 2007
When a person gets entered from behind by a dick so massive that it exits their face. Often times leaving the person open wide like the guest book at a wedding.
Tragedy struck our small town when the prom queen was facebooked at a party last night. Authorities have placed viagra in the local water supply and are confident the hardened criminal will soon be apprehended.
by Fun Uncle Captain Ken May 22, 2016
A place to openly complain about stuff no one actually cares about except for the person posting it.
Girl: "im so done with all this."
Everyone on facebook who is unfortunate enough to read it is thinking the same thing..who cares, and why do you think anyone does?
-Then the girl who posts is sitting there thinking..."omg why hasnt anyone liked my status or commented, does anyone care about me?:("
Answer: No, no one cares nor will ever care. Shut up.
Everyone on facebook who is unfortunate enough to read it is thinking the same thing..who cares, and why do you think anyone does?
-Then the girl who posts is sitting there thinking..."omg why hasnt anyone liked my status or commented, does anyone care about me?:("
Answer: No, no one cares nor will ever care. Shut up.
by e188 February 11, 2011
A website used to implant into a generally socially accepted person a sense of social awkwardness, when reeled in by the relentless advertisements of 'social networking', which is actually antisocial networking.
If you create and maintain a Facebook account, you may experience any of the following:
• A pseudo-friendship with hundreds of people
• Updates on people you hate's lives
• Explosive diarrhea
• Being stalked by family members
• Headaches
If you create and maintain a Facebook account, you may experience any of the following:
• A pseudo-friendship with hundreds of people
• Updates on people you hate's lives
• Explosive diarrhea
• Being stalked by family members
• Headaches
by fourfinger5s November 18, 2014
Facebook
Latin name (caetus confectorarius) meaning Social Butcher/Slaughter.
A human antisocial virus created to control the masses disguised as a form of social activity, using modern internet media to "connect" people.
There are two symptom groups for this virus.
The first is an overwhelming need to be connected to "Facebook" as often as possible, which then separates that person from interaction with people face to face due to the constant need to stay "connected".
Once a person shows this symptom it quickly spreads to all around, due to a lack of communication in person others feel the need to stay "connected" also.
The second group show symptoms like a wide range of idiotic public displays or thoughtless arguments, they then feed off Group 1 by using their need to be "connected".
Group 2 update their "status" informing Group 1 of their acts to spread the idiocracy symptom of Group 2 further by "sharing" or "debate".
Therefore Facebook is a highly efficient man made virus which creates a symbiotic food chain within its symptoms, creating the fuel it needs to control its victims and spread itself further.
Latin name (caetus confectorarius) meaning Social Butcher/Slaughter.
A human antisocial virus created to control the masses disguised as a form of social activity, using modern internet media to "connect" people.
There are two symptom groups for this virus.
The first is an overwhelming need to be connected to "Facebook" as often as possible, which then separates that person from interaction with people face to face due to the constant need to stay "connected".
Once a person shows this symptom it quickly spreads to all around, due to a lack of communication in person others feel the need to stay "connected" also.
The second group show symptoms like a wide range of idiotic public displays or thoughtless arguments, they then feed off Group 1 by using their need to be "connected".
Group 2 update their "status" informing Group 1 of their acts to spread the idiocracy symptom of Group 2 further by "sharing" or "debate".
Therefore Facebook is a highly efficient man made virus which creates a symbiotic food chain within its symptoms, creating the fuel it needs to control its victims and spread itself further.
You have the Facebook virus !
by Citizen Nezitic June 03, 2015