1 definition by notsheila

Top Definition
An internet networking site. Generally people sign up so they can keep in touch with those they don't see often. Extremists--generally teenagers through those in their mid-twenties--sign up so they can be with everyone they know all the time. It is an obsessive practice comparable to stalking.
Often people update their status as if they were tweeting on twitter, which is extreme. They are two different sites and should not be treated the same. We do not need to know that you "Really have to pee" then "going to the bathroom" and then "done peeing." We honestly do not care.
Additionally, the number of applications increases almost daily, and there are some which are practically identical: take farmtown and farmville for example. Same concept. Earning money in either is not the same as going out in the real world and getting a job. Speaking of jobs. If you have one, set your facebook to private. Your boss may check it out once in awhile and if he sees pictures of you holding red cups with mysterious liquids inside, that may be grounds for a breathalyzer and or urine test before your next shift.
Also, facebook is not real life. The number of people who add you as friends does not equate the number of friends you actually have. Realistically you probably only have 10% of that number in real life...if that. Also, people can attend events that they weren't even invited to. So keep them private people. Public is not safe. No one wants that creepy kid who spends all his time on facebook sifting through the events that everyone is going to and then clicking Attending even though he wasn't invited. That is completely unnecessary and avoidable. You know it happens too. This kid probably also comments on everyone's status updates

On the whole, facebook is a vortex or black hole, if you will, of procrastination. Nothing important happens there, but everyone thinks everything important gets talked about on facebook. It also leads to people feeling left out. For example, if Sheila spent friday night at home with nothing to do she probably would spend it on facebook, and then she would be aware that her best friends Abby, Janie, Babs, and Dolores were all hanging out without her.

This was likely an event that Dolores started and wanted to be private so Sheila wouldn't find out, but the obviously she'd know about it eventually.
How would she know?
because Abby's status would read: Just ate cake at Dolores's.
Janie's would read: "Yellow light!" which is probably some inside joke that Sheila is left out on.
Babs's would say: Haha. I kick ass at apples to apples!
then Dolores's would say: Wow, what a mess! Cleaning up after my killer party.
Then Sheila would know that she doesn't really have friends because she was not invited. Poor Sheila.
Then there are the pictures. Which are almost as depressing as Sheila's situation. Imagine if Sheila had attended Dolores's party. It is likely that there would be no photographic documentation of her attending because she would be the one taking the picture. Yes, the trademark picture on facebook is of people taking pictures of themselves or of them and their friends with an arm outstretched. In the situation above, however, there are too many girls to fit. So why not a mirror picture? you ask. Well Sheila is the fat friend, so she would no doubt be cut off in that mirror. It's a shame. If only Sheila would stop eating her feelings.
The best thing about facebook, is logging on as your friend and changing their language settings. I strongly reccomend English (pirate) it is quite hillarius. Or if you want to be really annoying, pick something with symbols that are impossible to read, and then your friend won't be able to find the settings link and likely never be able to change the language back.
"Wow, I have 56 new notifications on my facebook!"

Girl 1:"Hey girl, I feel like we haven't talked in ages!"
Girl 2:"Um hello, we just got done talking on facebook chat!"

"Bye Chelsea, I really wish I could stay. But I have to check my facebook."

Boy 1 attends a facebook event at his buddy's house. Upon his arrival he notices a line of people waiting to us the buddy's computer and check their facebooks.
Boy 1: "Hey, what's the line for?"
Buddy: "Oh, they're waiting to check their facebooks."
Boy 1: "Oh, hey I'm next. I need to know what happened in the two minutes it took me to walk to your house."
Boy 2 (who has just checked his, thenlogged off and walked to the end of the line) Wait your turn kid.
by notsheila August 31, 2009

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