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Cretin Detectives

A syndicate of special agents trained in the art of discovering what is known in the trade as "cretin on cretin love". This is when 2 (or more) lowly delinquents form a relationship based on deceit, only to be discovered and uncovered by the Cretin Detectives. After this relationship is unearthed the detectives are then obliged to bring this matter to the attention of anyone who will listen, causing unknown harm and humiliation to one or more of the Cretins.
Ways in which this can be done:
* Large posters in in highly populated areas.
* Telling family members anonymously.
* Flyer campaigns within large events such as fun fairs and children's game shows.
* Bringing to the attention of your flat mates a carefully placed mirror under a door.
... This will result in maximum circulation.
2 (or more) lowly delinquents form a relationship based on the premise that one of them will become bi-sexual and the other in order to hide this will have sexual relations with anyone that looks their way (or not), this includes: driving instructors; ex-boyfriends; ex-boyfriends of best friends; ex friends of boyfriends; friends from the past; friends from the present; and strangers who are friends you haven't met yet.
Eg. "Omgosh, those guys were so caught out by the cretin detectives!"
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Defensive

Someone that always tries to pick on people they are too weak to acknowledge they have negative feelings for/about, so instead of acknowledging their negative feelings, they talk a bunch of shit.
The defensive girl that was always mouthy didn't want people to think she actually hated somebody, since that would contradict her false love/light/hope image, and people would then be able to pick back at her double standards after that, so she always made it look like she meant no harm by what she said.
by The Original Agahnim May 27, 2021
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Passive-defensive

Acting as totally oblivious to others' passive aggressive behavior.
Looking at a shared dinner bill, "Man, I cannot believe how expensive the dinner was. This sure isn't helping me pay my rent."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Eric said passive-defensively. "So, your half comes to $28 plus tip."
by Hellsreach August 3, 2015
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Delective

Derived from "deceiving elective". A term applied to courses in which an individual enrolls, believing he or she will attain a high grade, but is sadly mistaken due to the elective's difficulty.
Music 1A03, Music 2II3, Gemstones, Soil, Water, Explorers, Geographies
James: "Damn Kev, I thought I'd get a 90 in Music, but it's bum-rushing me"
Kev: "Shiet man, that class a delective"
by JemJ December 9, 2008
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Dick Detectives

The breed of men who like to investigate meat and two veg.
Most famous of these being Cock Columbo.
I have to make sure there are no Dick Detectives operating before I take a squirt.
by B-Neutron September 11, 2006
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Pet Detective

The thrusting motion created when providing anal sex to another party. The term derives from a veterinarian providing a domesticated animal a rectal examination.
John: Hey man, when I went into your room yesterday, I saw you doing the Pet Detective on Emily.

James: Yeah. It's all in the arms.
by Civics March 30, 2012
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Defensive Striker

Football A defensive striker is quasi offensive false 9 that starts the first line of defense in a high counter pressing system
Firmino is a defensive striker for liverpool and has been instrumental.
by J123E July 8, 2020
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