An Albert is the type of guy who is effortlessly troll. He has the power to make you feel incredibly emarrassed while he relentlessly charms his way through. Upon getting to know an Albert better, you find that he has the perfect combination of sweetness, loyalty, and sponateity. One must be cautious when pursued by an Albert because his persistence will amaze you. Although he might only use powerful tactics such as watching romance movies over skype during the first couple months of courting, he will undoubtedly win your heart over through whispered midnight phone conversations. Some of his favourite hobbies including watching anime, playing Runescape, and ignoring his girlfriend for league matches. Alberts are very practical although not that thorough when it comes to planning trips such as camping. They love their families and you're lucky if you get the chance to meet them because they are the very reason your Albert is the amazing guy he is. Alberts make you assure yourself everyday that he's in it for the long run and that you should never let him go. But beware because they can be harsh grammar nazis and make you doubt uselessly when posting urbandictionary definitions.
by Yeahimasneakybear October 17, 2015
Get the Albert mug.Someone that you'll never fully know. As soon as you think you've figured him out he'll do something that surprises you. Maybe he's hurt you in some way, but you'll find out a reason for that deeper than you ever could've imagined.
by Djyjjfhjdgnhdcbv January 6, 2019
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Man who is named Alberto, this is a rare kind of species which is only seen in portions of South North America and rarely in North North America, born 20,000 years ago, Alberto´s (or Albertoes/Alberto´es) were almost completely obliterated from this Earth, by the USA, the USA government tried to make all Alberto´es go extinct, thankfully they didnt
by mexicantoilet December 9, 2020
Get the Alberto mug.by seabass February 22, 2005
Get the fat alberto mug.This most hideous of maneuvers involves an extremely intoxicated woman ready to vomit and a "concerned male friend" in an isolated stall. He sets up the scenario by innocently offering to hold back her hair while she proceeds to vomit. However, unbeknownst to the woman, he is undoing his pants with his other hand. After the bulk of the vomit is expelled, the ensuing dry heaves create the ultimate contractions for deepthroating. The sounds made as a result of heavy penetration mimicking someone who is being strangled. He finishes, cleans her up, and hopefully, she blacks out shortly and forgets everything. The concerned friend leaves that bathroom stall a legend amongst his friends.
Ted: I think Jimmy gave that drunk girl an Albequerqe strangler! She looks like she's been through the mill.
Harry: No wonder he's always so helpful.
Ted: I bet his balls smell like old schmagma.
Harry: No wonder he's always so helpful.
Ted: I bet his balls smell like old schmagma.
by Longshanks Blumpelstiltskin June 13, 2006
Get the albequerqe strangler mug.A quiet shy cute guy who is unique and doesn't conform. He listens to badass bands and extremely smart and funny. He is good to his friends, and is always true to himself. Alberts is the best person to ever have around.
by ThatOneGirlYouDon'tRealize November 1, 2010
Get the Alberts mug.A once respected grocery store chain started by a humble man, beloved and respected by his community for his fair business policies.
New stores were constructed only after the money to pay for them was earned, and "Better" was valued above "Bigger."
Now a bloated shell of its former being, taking on debt faster than the Titanic took on water, and helmed by an ego and no longer a man. "Bigger at any cost" valued over "Better," and their prices prove it.
New stores were constructed only after the money to pay for them was earned, and "Better" was valued above "Bigger."
Now a bloated shell of its former being, taking on debt faster than the Titanic took on water, and helmed by an ego and no longer a man. "Bigger at any cost" valued over "Better," and their prices prove it.
"Oh my God Larry, have you seen Albertsons stock since the merger?"
"Hell yes Bob, it went down faster than an ugly actress at a casting call."
"Hell yes Bob, it went down faster than an ugly actress at a casting call."
by Johnson says it all. (Close enough) June 9, 2005
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