alarm clock

A demonic thing that deprives you of what's rightfully yours. A.k.a. sleep

SHUT THAT FUCKING ALARM CLOCK OFF!!

by nigg er face March 18, 2015

scottish alarm clock

When you wake up before your partner and you give them head till they wake up.

My wife was asleep till I performed the Scottish alarm clock on her.

by Sandolorian December 12, 2021

French Alarm Clock

The Act of preforming oral sex on your partner, so as to wake them from sleeping

"the morning after we hooked up, Stacy gave me a French Alarm Clock."

by Alejandro Cabello September 05, 2021

Alarm clock

The sound of tousands of electronic seagulls being skinned alive in order to wake your dumbass in the morning for a longer day of bullshit

1: I need to be up earlier than I want to be and before I would naturally wake up

2: Set an alarm clock

1: oh yes the only option I have that I still want to reject despite having no other option because I live alone

2: I'm here for you

by Broken toaster January 09, 2018

Alarm clock

A physiological horror of the morning involving a sound most likely a beep over and over. Used in the CIA as a tactic then removed because it was inhumane.

John had his alarm clock go off this morning. He is now in a mental hospital given drugs because the ptsd is to severe.

by Gototheofficemyfriend October 09, 2022

potato alarm clock

When someone wakes you up by shoving a potato up your ass, removes it, and makes mashed potatoes with it.

Logan woke up to a potato alarm clock on the day of thanksgiving. Those mashed potatoes were the best I ever had!

by Hoeazzbetch November 23, 2021

Westminster Alarm Clock

A sexual act closely related to a handjob. The receiver positions themselves so his phallus is accessible. At precisely the top of the hour, a partner grasps the receiver’s phallus and yanks on it with the force equivalent to the bell-ringers at Big Ben. This is succeeded by a shriek of either happiness or pain from the receiver. The amount of tugs depends on the time at the top of the hour. Dubbed “The Westminster Alarm Clock” due to Hugh Lupus Grosvenor, the Duke of Westminster, having the act performed on him prior to the construction of Big Ben. Disgruntled neighbors typically awoke to 8 loud evenly spaced shrieks each morning.

Gina: What time is it?
Colin: Noon. Why?
Gina: No reason…
Colin: AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH!
Charlie: Sounds like Colin is getting one hell of a Westminster Alarm Clock. Oh shit! It’s noon! I’m gonna be late for that lunch date!

by TESTICLETWISTER October 13, 2024