Jesus, Mary and Joseph 

A extremely Christian phrase, usually practised by white 23 year old virgins trying to become more christian after their uncle Dave criticised them for that car they bored... stole.

White christian: (spills coffee) Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
anybody else accept from very white Christians: Whaaaattttt!

Jesus, Mary and Joseph by hello there bye there June 11, 2018

Jesus of the Christ 

Jesus of the Christ is a man who was Jesus but also a split between Christ and the two combined equal a massive orgie which is a godly magical creation - God would agree to... This is a theory within science and many soldiers of HEAVEN agree. That is the definition of Jesus of the Christ.

Jesus of the Christ capped FDR.

Jesus of the Christ by christian madril March 27, 2007

Jesus-Handle 

Much like a regular "handle" of liquor, a Jesus-handle is any quantity greater than 1.75 L of top-tier liquor. It is a colloquial for people who avoid the Godless metric system, and believe that sermons are best preached from atop a bar-stool.

"Sorority sisters just can't hold a candle

to the St. Mary's girls when they grab my Jesus-Handle."

Jesus-Handle by rhinofeeder January 22, 2012

Jesus Mary and Josephed 

To get sooooo drunk you don't remember anything the next day.

Oh man, i was so Jesus Mary and Josephed last night, my head is banging.

Jesus Mary and Josephed by Nikki Hollie Yasmir January 12, 2008

jesus orb 

orange, gelatinous spheres of religious goodness.
like mandarin oranges, from Camp Oakhurst
the people who made them didn't no what they were, so Spencer had to name them

What is this?

It's a jesus orb.... eat up!

jesus orb by SpencerW December 15, 2006

Jesus spammer 

Someone who spams blogs and forums to promote Mel Gibson's ludicrous film about Jesus shot in the style of Gladiator.

"hi so-and-so, i like such-and-such too... i am waitin to buy another cd, can't wait
have you heard about The Christ? it's a movie about the last hours of Jesus' life before the Crucifixion - i've heard a lot of good things about it, and i agree after seeing the trailers...
i'll include a few links below. check these out, they moved me. i mean, if a TRAILER can make you cry, it's got to be some movie! "

Jesus spammer by Thermaland February 17, 2004

Jesus Spanking 

when you do something that you know is wrong and God comes back to get you for it later.

1. Obama is a crappy president and makes bad choices....so Jesus spanked him when he got hit in the face during a game of basketball.

2. A child kicks another kid and then runs away. while they are running away, they trip and smack their head on a wall. That my friends...is a Jesus spanking.

Jesus Spanking by michelle1991 November 29, 2010