jesus spot 

the best parking spot you could possibly get, in relation to where you are headed.


(often located right next to handicapped spots)

Driver: gosh, there are NO parking spots open...
Passenger: wait! I think I see a jesus spot!!
Driver: SCORE.

jesus spot by Nella Granback May 3, 2008

jesus horse 

the compromise for someone who doesn't believe in evolution; if the person who doesn't believe in evolution believes in evolution, the other kids who do must call dinosaurs jesus horses

tommy: stephen, if you start to believe in evolution, we will compromise; we will start calling dinosaurs jesus horses.

jesus horse by stephen hart May 3, 2008

jesus diet

When you only eat when jesus stells you........

Person 1: "Oh God Please Help Me"
Jesus: "Do Not Eat Until I Tell You"
Person 1: "Oh Thank you Jesus"

The Jesus Diet!!!!!

jesus diet by Brian Campbel February 14, 2008

Jesus Complex 

Someone with a strong attraction to men that look like Jesus.
Long hair, beard, probably don't shower to often, would probably fit under the term Hippie.

Things someone with a Jesus Complex may be found saying

1. Wow, i can't believe i just spent an hour looking at a "hot men that look like jesus tumblr"

2. Alex Ebert is my ideal man.

3. OMG Devendra Banhart is the most attractive man alive.

Jesus Complex by Not Bijou February 4, 2013

jesus blow 

jesus blow
1. a devastating strike with divine power; a lucky knock out punch or kick. 2. when used in plural the ability to throw strikes with no regard to self; swinging to land that lucky knock out blow.

" Man, I thought I had him in that fight, until he landed that damn jesus blow!"

"Dude, that guy does not know how to fight, he was trying to land jesus blows."
Source: Gerald L., west covina,ca

jesus blow by Gerald L. May 15, 2008

jesus hater 

someone who does not like Jyothis's music. Especially Transfiguration by Sufjan Stevens.

Jaqueline is a jesus hater when she is busy with her pro-Manifest Destiny poster against Libya, and thus too busy to listen to the above-mentioned song.

jesus hater by Jigganinja April 27, 2011

Jesus Fucking Christ 

A term used by small/simple-minded when they are not getting their way, frustrated, or feel threatened by something that they don't understand.

John Doe- "That would be a cool thing to invent."
Mrs.Doe- "Jesus fucking christ John, focus in the now."

Jesus Fucking Christ by Heyitsj000 May 18, 2020