Mommy Blindness

When people tell you shit your kids/pets/friends did/are, but your brain just can't register it cause you think they're perfect no matter what

Person1: I'm sorry, but your son is very overweight
Person 2: No he's not! He's just a little chubby!
Person 1: You need to snap out of the mommy blindness

by NuclearKärring November 29, 2017

Wanked-Blind

To be absolutely screwed over

"I locked myself out, proper wanked myself blind."

"Craig I'm sorry I slept with your girl friend, boy I wanked you blind."
"Iv been wanked-blind by this parking ticket."

by Ketty Walsh December 11, 2017

tone blind

inability to detect sincerity or sarcasm in a text

i was tone blind to her meaning, and i heard about it later

by TXKRIS March 5, 2018

Double-Blind Fun Time

When you are invited for a hot threesome, but you and one of the other three participants do not know each other. If your's is a real tight ass, you need to see the third person before you show up to drink the kambucha. Maling it Just fun time. If your cool, you just make sure the third partner is the sex and/or sexual orientation you desire, and get a rain check for your similar invitation.

Jack agreed to show up to Jenna's place for double-blind fun time, but only after he made sure he was the only guy hitting the bees. Ya know, a male H'oney Bee.

by LivingWordsmith69 March 12, 2018

poop blind

The urge to poop so bad you have tunnel vision for the bathroom.

Ray zoned out for half of the class. After yesterday’s breakfast burrito hit bottom he had gone poop blind.

by 367 September 27, 2018

Phone Blind

When your phone is so cracked you can’t see anything on it

When my phone was servely cracked I went phone blind

by Katy Pig October 7, 2018

tender blender

A housewife who has purchased a new electrical appliance and she is somewhat timid in first using it, afraid that she might break it into tiny pieces.

A friend of Jamie Oliver was telling him about some tender blender in Manchester.

by Jewish madam August 9, 2018