carped out

"Carpeted out" after taking too much GHB. Typically, the user will appear to be dead; however, they are just in a deep state of sleep and cannot be awoken.

Jairus had way too much GHB and was so carped out he was twitching.

by Dirty Dirt April 23, 2008

carpet dweller

1. Any middle management types who rarely leave their carpeted offices. Generally have no idea how things really get done around the place they work and usually have "big ideas" about workplace improvements that improve nothing and waste untold hours of labor.

2. Any office worker who will do anything they can do to avoid going out onto the production floor among the people who actually get the work done.

Carpet Dweller 1: "We have some ideas for work flow improvements! Should only take about three additional minutes a day!"
Production worker 1: "Three minutes?!? Seriously this will add at least an hour to my day!"
Carpet Dweller 2: "Hey, since you are on your way back out onto the floor, will you take this out to so-and-so? I can't, the hard concrete hurts my knees and I'm right in the middle of updating my FaceBook page? kthanksbye!"

by anonymostlydrunk September 28, 2009

capernoited

Slightly tipsy!

After drinking all of the Guiness Sally was capernoited and James had to catch her fall.

by suxmy<3msU November 20, 2009

Shag carpet

A carpet to shag on

"Hey, a shag carpet! I didn't know you two were swingers!"

by America Lover 🇺🇸 November 17, 2018

burned the carpet

Having sex with a woman until her vagina hurts, usually caused by a lack of lubrication.

Manwhore003: Man that bish over there is walkin kinda funny.
Manwhore004: Yeah, I burned the carpet last night, she was out of K-Y.

by Dr4T7 February 16, 2006

Captain Crunch Carpet

When the carpet by the side of your bed gets hard from all the jizz you ejaculate and later get rid of by smearing it on the side of the carpet. Later that morning when you step on the dry jizz it makes that CRUNCH noise.

carpet+jizz= captain crunch carpet

by Stubs714 December 14, 2009

Laying down the Carpet

The act of laying down, or placing a single or a double segment of toilet paper on the surface of the water in the toilet bowl, in order to stop or significantly reduce "splash backs" when relieving oneself.

"I felt the urge to take the biggest crap yesterday and I was afraid I might get some splash-back, so I laid down the carpet before I initiated. 60 percent of the time, it works.... EVERY TIME!"
"Laying down the carpet saved my ass from years of shitty water splashing my asshole."

by Roogz April 9, 2008