clarinet

Codename for a black man's penis. Also a feeble insignificant instrument that is useless on it's own, and needs 50,000 other clarinets playing with it to be heard over a trombone. Loudest volume: messopiano, if they try really hard. Have no real use in anything but concert band, and are only put in marching bands in school because the directors feel sorry for them. Ever notice how there are no woodwinds in professional marching bands? Play melody 99% of the time because the writers don't know what else to do with them.

Clarinet players blow on big black things.

by Booooooooooob November 14, 2007

clarinet

the stupidest instrument ever created. it sounds like a dying duck. the world would be benefited if it would disappear. a band/orchestra would have to be extremely good to drown out the disguisting clarinet noise.

trumpeteer: hey do u play an instrument
clarinetist/stupid person: yea clarinet
trumpeteer: then im not talking to u. ur not worthy.

by trumpeteer March 28, 2009

Clarinet

THE WORST INSTRUMENT MADE BY POOPY PEOPLE AND IT STANDS FOR CRAPPYCACA LACKING AIRY RUNTY IDIOTS NOOBS EXTRA TRUCKERS

POOP IS A CLARINET

by DisaPukaPow October 24, 2019

clarinet

Also reffered to as screech needles

Last competition Golden River Marching Festival
Clarinet Player: (clarinet screeches during the ballad) "ooopss"

During the scoring portion
Drum Major- 83.0
Color Guard- 94.0
Percussion-83.0
Brass-96.6
Woodwinds-45.7
Whole Band score- 70.1
Trumpet Section: Stupid screech needles ruined are chance of winning
Low Brass: What the fuck those stupid screech needles are always ruining everything
Drumline and Pit Percussion: At least we scored well
Flute, Saxophones, and low reeds: Those darn screech needles are always ruining our score
Color Guard: I feel like hitting them with a flag
Drum Major: I thought I taught you better than that.

by ScottMcCall1202 August 22, 2016

Chairing

The act of having someone go on his knees and another person sitting on his back pretending or actually reading a newspaper.

Instead of Tebowing, the man got in the middle of the street and started chairing with his buddy.

The man suffered many injuries due to chairing in the middle of the high way.

by Steve Chair January 8, 2012

Bass Clarinet

"This bass instrument of the Clarinet family is usually played by people who suck on regular Clarinet and therefore also naturally suck on Bass Clarinet. No one can ever hear them so who cares if they play? Usually mess up the simplest of things such as whole notes especially when they are exposed. Along with the Alto Clarinet it is often used by good clarinet players to get into District, State, and other Various Honor Bands. Some are whiney and complain that they can't march but it dosen't matter becasue they don't know how to play anyways. Rarley a Bari Sax player will have to doubble on Bass Clarinet for Jazz band."

"Hey! The concert was great even though the onlything I could hear from the Bass Clarinets were their Squeakes."

by Teth Bedrows June 3, 2009

clarinet

A reed woodwind instrument. Probably the most annoying instrument of all time, especially when not played correctly. Just give up, clarinet players and go play trumpet.

At last year's band concert, the clarinets squeaked so bad their solo of "When the Saints Go Marching In" was an unrecognizable chorus of squeaks and extremely low notes.

by Mieself April 8, 2014