Assphairies

Folklore, a fantasy figure as seen by some, that magically shows up on city streets and highways at night, laying a fresh layer of asphalt for automobile and motorcycle drivers to enjoy. Rarely seen in their native habitat. Nocturnal in nature, choosing to work at night/overnight as opposed to high traffic daytime hours.

"I was driving on this very old, cracked road yesterday afternoon, potholes and all and now this morning, it's freshly paved....the ASSPHAIRIES must've visited overnight!"

by MarkDuckDuck August 13, 2019

asspirate

a male homosexual who joy fucking ass

mike is an asspirate,he wants to fuck your ass.

by n/a November 30, 2002

Asspergers

A disease acquired by accidentally sitting on one of them new-fangled grills.

(Pronounced: Ass-Bur-gers)

"How was I supposed to know it was a lit grill and not a chair? And now I'm stuck with 'Asspergers!'"

by ClassicCreation July 26, 2009

asspie

A disgusting-tasting pie.

"I hope they're not serving any of that asspie today!"

by Bethany November 9, 2003

asspect

Monacle a donkey wears.

My donkey is near sighted in one eye and wears an asspect.

by sly Dude December 17, 2009

Asspie

The product created when spreading ones ass cheeks and spackling the space between with cherry filling

Dane's mom really knows how to make a good asspie

by B_don October 16, 2011

Asspaste

Crude form of Pâte Âne, which is known in elite circles as a creme cleansing substance to be used with a brush over a bidet. These products are offered by a few jet set mail order companies and often available through the concierge desk at 5 star hotels. A French chef reportedly manufactured the first product for this purpose around 1890, but was unable to market it effectively and folded the company. Interest in such a product returned among upper-class sportsmen in the mid-nineteenth century, and the use of this substance is said to have become popular with the Dundee and Perth Polo Club of Scotland to help minimize swelling. It is now considered a luxury reserved for aristocrats and celebrities.

Guest:
Pardon me concierge, do you have any Colla Asino brand Pâte Âne?
Concierge:
I do apologize sir... to what are you referring? I'm not familiar.
Guest:
Pâte Âne.. you know... Asspaste.
Concierge:
Why yes sir, we have Longhorn brand Anal Pate. Would you also be interested in our brushing service? Our specialist has a spot open in his schedule in an hour.

by confused robot July 16, 2008