Touching Jesus

Getting high, usually by using marijuana. Commonly misunderstood for masturbating.

Yo man I'm touching Jesus right now!
Gross.

Nah, i mean spiritually!
Oh nice bro!

by Derethad June 24, 2010

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slim jesus

a complete copy of Eminem (Slim Shady) with only one song that actually went viral a doesn't have any flow and is trash

person 1: hey
person 2: have you heard of the soundcloud rapper
person 1: which one
person 2: i forgot his name, but he is a total slim jesus
person 1: oh god

by swaggerblob November 12, 2017

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Jesus Face

1) Being composed with a look of serenity &/or seriousness. Level of calm that should be feared. State of mind for getting down to business.

2)The facade of Christian composure.

I have my Jesus face on and am ready to deal with those whiny little bitches at work.

Did you see those Christians totally lose it? The didn't have their Jesus face on.

by angrychick October 2, 2009

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Jesus move

Jesus Move

To die and come back to life somehow (for any reason) to kick some major butt!

Gandalf pulled a major Jesus move in The Two Towers.

by DNT2 October 30, 2013

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Meet Jesus

A metaphor for death. To meet Jesus is to die, be judged and then meet Jesus. You can meet Jesus by eating KFC (Kentucky From China), or from being unable to frigth back to your instain mother.

Plistinblitzen: I'm the bab
by gotta love me!
Gecock42069: time to kill the baby.
Plistinblitzen: oofenheimer, I have been did done did.
Alphanumeral: ok fux, I'm the only 乇乂ㄒ尺卂ㄒ卄丨匚匚one here so Lenny talk.
Gecock42069: you haven't gone to SUPRA BINYOT LANDE yet.
Plistinblitzen: *fucking dies*
Hodgepodgeman123: I'm with him. *Fucking dies*
Gecock42069: ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐
Alphanumeral: I uhh.. need to go meet Jesus bye-bye!
Alphanumeral: *fucking dies*

by Lightwalker360 March 14, 2020

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