Jaws-Mode Wank

A niche practice where a man will bite off his own penis for sexual gratification while imagining a drunken Robert Shaw singing.

Sky News now apologising for language in Dominic Cummings message accusing Boris Johnson of 'Jaws-mode wank'

by Humphrey the Cat October 31, 2023

Isaac Newton Wank

The act of wanking upside down for the objective of giving yourself a facial. The jizz acts like the Apple falling from the tree, gravity takes it course and hits the participant in the cranial area.

I had an Isaac Newton wank last night, glazed myself like a doughnut

by McLoopster August 20, 2018

wank n shank

When you shank someone right after you rape them. Commonly used in prison situations.

Inmate 1: Did you hear about inmate 3?
Inmate 2: No, what happened?
Inmate 1: He attempted to do the ol' wank n shank

by that_one_guy1 June 03, 2016

International Wank Day

The day of December 1st, following the month of No Nut November, where every male is encouraged to masturbate, to relieve the testicular tension of the previous month.

Person 1: Bro can you come to the game tomorrow.
Person 2: Nah sorry bro it’s International Wank Day.
Person 1: Damn bro why didn’t you remind me?

by Bongonog November 12, 2019

Wanking off a Smurf

When people have blue hands which have been dyed with ink, paint etc they are said to have wanked off a smurf.

Why are your hands blue? Have you been wanking off a smurf or something?

by thanksthatsastupidsuggestion March 07, 2021

Pokey bum wank

To insert ones finger in and out of the anus whilst masterbating ones penis with the other hand (speed and deph of finger is upto pbw,sters preference)

Tom:have you heard about something called a pokey bum wank its all the rage ooop north any idea what it involves
Rich: yes its the act of slipping a appendage or inanimate object up ones anus whilst wanking the penis with the other hand

I was doing a prison sentence a normal wank just wasnt doing it for me after 6 months of repetitive standard wanking so I was looking to spice things upby using a finger or 2 after 3 months fingers became boring so I started a long trawl of finding inanimate objects to insert and rating them out of ten is my final ambition to write up a pbw guide of best objects to use for a pbw with a ratings scale of shitty fingers so electric toothbrush 9 and a half shitty fingers out of ten

by Jack Mehoff jizz mater general November 21, 2016

Pokey bum wank

An act of masturbation where you put your legs over your head and poke yourself in the bum

I was going to have a pokey bum wank today but I'm going to Spencer's house

by Pls1234 February 03, 2017