Taintch Fingers

The cheesy, poo smell that sticks to your entire hand for far too long after taking care of a Taintch.

Puh lease wash those Taintch Fingers.

I purposefully shook my exes hand with my Taintch Fingers.

by Sir Shartsalot July 2, 2014

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Fingers The Monkey

Fingers the Monkey was the first successful test held by the Dominican Republic to weaponize Monkeys. They added LSD and Heroine to the mother's bloodstream during the last few days before birth. thus Giving the baby monkey extremely chaotic behaviour, they then taught it through a reward system to attack all hands it saw, it was taught to jump onto the back of the hand, pry off the fingernails and then jam them into the backs of the targets knucklebones, the monkey would then eat off the fingers, leaving a thumb and fingernail covered hands. Thus giving him the name 'Fingers The Monkey'. After a containment breach in which Fingers escaped into the whiled after taking the fingers of five guards, he has not been located. and newspaper headlines would suggest he is now running around central ad northern America, taking the fingers of whoever he comes in contact with.

Jim: Hey man, look at this cool monkey on my hand."
Bil: Bro watch out, that's fucking Fingers the Monkey"
Jim: *screaming in pain as Fingers rips out fingernails and relocates them at his knuckles before eating his fingers."

by Sidney Stevens June 20, 2021

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