Wipe-and-Type

The practice of going through emails while on the shitter.

It wasn't until I heard the flush that I realized that my colleague on the phone was doing a wipe-and-type.

by Gipple December 24, 2012

Moist Wipe

During the act of cunnilingus using your face and mouth region to wipe the excess vaginal discharge from a female, leaving it moist and refreshed

I didn't just eat that pussy it I gave myself a moist wipe.

by the real poop ninja May 15, 2010

Insurance Wipe

To prevent an unwanted incident after evacuating the log tunnel, you should always make sure to do one final wipe of your entire anal crevice and surrounding area to ensure that there is no more shit on your ass.

"I've been feeling really dodgy mate, so I did a couple extra insurance wipes just to be sure.."

by El chicken January 4, 2015

Safety Wipe

The act of wiping ones arse independent of having defecated. Wiping is done for safety upon suspicion of having anal leakage; usually due to sharting (see shart), excessive sweating, gophering (which has since retracted), or any combination thereof.

"I just sharted and need to take a safety wipe right away."

by DL & CP for UD July 22, 2014

Mid-wipe

Halfway through taking a shit, one simply wipes their ass with a moist baby wipe in between pushing out turds. This wipe helps minimize the mess and reapplies lubricant for a cleaner poop. When combined with the pre-wipe method you are defecating at maximum cleanliness.

After eating two Chipotle burritos I felt the need to birth a brown monster in the toilet. Two flushes later I quickly realized I wasn’t anywhere close to being finished. I reassessed the situation at hand and with a quick mid-wipe I was back in control on my throne. I pushed out one remaining turd with ease and continued the rest of my day.

by ratpact4life March 13, 2022

Wet Wipe

Normally used to describe a lad who thinks he’s all that but isn’t even half of that. Can typically be found frequenting the same sports bars, in the same outfit, drinking the same pink gin and lemonade. Spends his spare time flirting with girls way out of his league, relaxing on the sun bed and saying he’s going to the gym when he’s actually taking it slow in the steam room.

A: oh my god I have a date with Matt Burnett this weekend
B: what?! No, girl, you can’t. He’s SUCH a wet wipe

by B Caitlin July 9, 2019

Forever Wipes

After a wicked dump, when no matter how well refined your rectal cleaning technique, you leave the can with a less than immaculate asshole.

Man that bbq was good but talk about forever wipes.

by Chazamataz11 April 18, 2011