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Squidward

A misunderstood hexopus that only wishes to gain some respect yet nobody gives him any not even from the fandom could be a very sweet kind and caring person deep down UuU (except for the person who wrote this)
Squidward: CANT I GET THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF RESPECT?!
most of the fandom: No!
by True squidward fan #1 October 19, 2017
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Squidward

Someone who is grumpy all the time, a real stick in the mud. Someone who is tired of life and hates people, more notably, people who work at retail stores that have cash registers.

They usually scan your items as fast as they can with a crude face and don’t bother to greet you. If you see a guy who acts rude and handles your groceries wrong, he’s most likely a Squidward

A Squidward can also mean someone who’s very rude, very stale and doesn’t give a fuck
Joe: hey that one guy just bumped into me and didnt say sorry. Instead he looked at me with this dark glare. He’s such a Squidward....

Rebecca: hey you wanna go to the mall later? I’m bringing 3 of my friends who are guys.

Saviento: with 3 of your friends? Nah I’d rather sit at home watching Elmo as I cut my penis off. You guys have fun in that little hell hole.

Rebecca: OMG you’re such a Squidward!!

Cashier: *throws items into bags* “59.97$...”
Me: hey everything okay man?

Cashier: “yeah, I’m just feeling kinda squidward today”
by Hitler the great June 10, 2020
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the squidward twist

When you twist a guy's nuts until his voice becomes as nasally as Squidward's.
Did you hear last night Chuck got The Squidward Twist and you could hear him in the house over.
by Bobbyjohnstwinbrother January 2, 2021
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Skidmark Cobra

A Skidmark Cobra is the result of taking a dump, usually in Africa or someplace, and discovering you are not alone when a cobra raises its head between your legs. At this moment, you realize your only chance is to grab the cobra's head quickly. Once securely grabbed, you reach back and fish out the cobra's tail and proceed to floss your butt until sufficiently clean for day-to-day use, thus dominating said cobra.
I didn't know there was a snake in the toilet. So, when he poked his head up I Skidmark Cobra'd with him!

I'm a Skidmark Cobra of AGO.
by He-is-man December 17, 2008
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skidmarks

Will Tide get out skidmarks?
by Mike Easter March 15, 2003
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The Squidward

A sexual act where a man uses a raw squid tube as a condom then engages in anal sex and ejaculates in the squid. Afterwards, him or his partner eat the semen filled squid tube.

The remains of the squid is considered a delicacie and is often fought over.
Me and my boyfriend did the squidward last night. The asshole didn't share any of the squid .
by Cosbycosplay April 11, 2016
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