Johnson Extractor 3000

a tool that allows you to extract your Johnson from any orifice that it might have gotten stuck in.

Mike - “Dude, you cop your Johnson Extractor 3000?”
John - “Bro what is that!?”
Mike - “ You missed Prime Day, didn’t you?”

by starchild.69.69 July 20, 2019

Johnson Blossom

When a man takes so many Viagra, that his penis slowly bursts.

Girl: "be careful with how much u take babe"
Guy: "why hun"
Girl: "in college i knew this guy who took to many and full on johnson blossomed"

by Ray_Rios August 20, 2020

Johnson County Schools

A much fancier way of saying "Hell Hole" or "Freak Show".
Typically used to describe a place with tons of mentally disabled white people.

Person A : "Goddamn, that place was filled with retarded inbreds."
Person B : "Haha! It's Johnson County Schools down there!"

by High Tonight December 17, 2022

tremendous johnson

An unusually asinine computer network engineer; one who is behaving like a complete dork; Jeremy. Derived from the Hudson County NJ dialect of Italian, orig. Jonsono Tremendoso.

Did you see that Tremendous Johnson ride by on his Harley?

by DarthTouchdown March 4, 2005

dallas johnson

To "do a Dallas Johnson" is to pass out while drinking, then regain consciousness and continue drinking copiously. Named in honour of Melbourne Storm/Queensland State of Origin lock forward Dallas Johnson, who was knocked unconscious (and convusling) on the first tackle of the 2007 State of Origin Game 2, then returned at half time and made thirty tackles.

Luke: I'm going to drink a slab of beers in 24 hours.
(Three hours later: ten beers + Luke both gone)
Rob: The only way he will finish is by doing a Dallas Johnson.

by Aspirex_of_Team_9 December 9, 2007

hank johnson, sr

a variation on the hank johnson where the hands have a up and down motion while the hank johnson is going down.

"I was visited by hank johnson, sr last night and i need an ice pack for my nuts, juan."

by robitio57 January 9, 2009

pooderbutt johnson

A younger person that spends most of his time lounging around the house only wearing boxer shorts. He enjoys playing video games, YouTube videos, drinking sweet tea and eating sour cream and onion tater chips.

"Look at that pooderbutt johnson. He don't ever wear britches. All he does is play XBox and drink the sweet tea!"

by K-Dawg1993 June 20, 2019