absolutely not

A phrase used to highly disapprove of someone, something, or an action. This phrase is usually said in a nasty tone.

misbehaving child: Can I eat this ice cream before dinner?
child's mother: Absolutely not.

by riri18 October 26, 2017

Absolute-slowness

The waitress who serves me in my local cafe suffers from absolute-slowness. It is usually characterised by having a big pale ugly face, no manners or respect and the general demeanour of having taken 67 valiums and a few bottles of vodka.

It should also be noted that those affected tend to move in slow motion so do not be alarmed this is normal as they are out of sync with our time-frame.

Customer 1: "Hello, I'd like a some soup please."
Waitress 1: "Ok it'll just be a second"

*goes away and grows the vegetables and grain and slaughters the cow herself*

Customer 1: "What the hell's up with the Absolute-slowness today!!"

by asteroth February 24, 2010

Absolute Nate

The act of shoving a fishing rod up another mans rectum and then removing the pole and cleaning any reminents with your mouth.

After fishing Joe gave Nick an absolute Nate in the bed of his truck.

by Donny spinoggle June 11, 2010

absolute bits

being in a state of foolishness, dissoray or confusion for a limited time period.

Today I was in absolute bits because I thought the orange I was eating was an apple.

by playcrossy December 22, 2010

absolute knickers lah

when something is simply shambolic/rubbish. the 'lah' is to be emphasised heavily.

Simply calling something 'knickers' does not suffice...

This division 3 football match is absolute knickers lah

Was out at a nightclub last night, had to go on the beer cos it was absolute knickers lah

That essay of mine took me ages, its absolute knickers lah

by mon errigal February 25, 2011

Absolutely Wasted

A term used for somebody who is quite intoxicated, typically with beverages such as Greene King IPA. Used by Alexander Robertson in the group UK Simpsons II, when asking for Simpsons episodes. Although roasted for his post originally, he then became internet famous thanks to the group and in other social media after featuring in a BuzzFeed post.

Eric: Man, we're quite drunk, aren't we?
Nick: Nah mate, we've been on the IPA lad. That means that we're in fact absolutely wasted!

by LionelHutz February 17, 2017

Absolutely stunnin

Something that makes your eyes pop and your jaw drop out of amazement.

It was a view so sublime and (absolutely stunnin) I thought I had died and gone to heaven!

by Sillysox July 12, 2017