Jesus In A Box 

(n.) an immigrant most likely of latino or hispanic origin, who arrived in the United States secretively. Jesus, is actually pronounced "hey seuss" in this case.

Juan said to put Jesus in a box to get him past border patrol.

Jesus In A Box by TristaJ February 8, 2007

Jesus Christ on a cripple after Sunday mass!

An exclamation that can be used after having encountered a bad situation. Can be used in conjunction with; Jesus Christ, Christ, Jesus Tap dancing Christ, and "awww hell".

Dude A: Hey have you seen that video with two chicks and a cup?

Dude B: Jesus Christ on a cripple after Sunday mass! That was fucked!

Jesus Christ on a cripple after Sunday mass! by JPF December 31, 2007

Jesús, ¿por qué te comiste ese coño de burro? ¿no puedes tener suficiente culo en tu propio puto? 

THE SPANISH VERSION OF THIS

Jesus, why did you eat that donkey pussy? Can't you have enough ass on your own fucking?

Sir, you have your own boobs! Why are you licking the donkey's nipple?
That donkey dick seems to be evasive! What with the donkey that ate you in the ass!
Faggot
Sucking another guy's pussy

BLACK GUY: YALL MUTHAFUCKA IS GAY

SPANISH STUDENT: Jesús, ¿por qué te comiste ese coño de burro? ¿no puedes tener suficiente culo en tu propio puto?

¡ Señor, tiene sus propias tetas! ¿por qué Lames el pezón del burro?
¡ esa pija de burro parece ser evasiva! ¡ Qué con el burro que te comió en el culo!
Maricón
Chupar el coño de otro chico

BLACK GUY: DANG NIGGA LOL

Jesús, ¿por qué te comiste ese coño de burro? ¿no puedes tener suficiente culo en tu propio puto? by weedhead11111111111111111 February 28, 2018

jesus bagel 

A representation of Jesus, chewed by one person, then passed on to the next, in a spreading of the holy spirit.

Become a Christian, eat a Jesus Bagel:

non-christian1: I need Jesus, lets eat this bagel (jesus) Wow, Jesus tastes good. Here, have some Jesus. *spits it out and passes it to next person*
non-christian2: wow, Jesus does taste good. Partake my brother, partake. *spits it out and passes it to next person*

jesus bagel by Jayne the2nd June 23, 2006

Jesus chord 

The G sus chord, on a guitar.

What's the fingering for the Jesus chord on this guitar?

Jesus chord by pentozali August 18, 2010

Jesus balls 

Two spheres with a close gap between them, mounted at the base of the tower of a broadcast AM transmitter.

One ball is connected to the tower, the other one to earth ground.
In case of lighting, an electrical arc forms across the gap, routing the lightning to earth and saving the transmitter equipment.
Called "Jesus Balls" because if you touch them "you see Jesus" (i.e.: you can die).

If you don't want to see Jesus today, stay away from the "Jesus balls" over there.

Jesus balls by DavideAndrea August 1, 2013

Jesus Christ Porn

The one-way ticket to getting into hell.

Yo I saw somebody draw Jesus Christ Porn of him giving Satan a blowjob

Jesus Christ Porn by A Fucking Mistake February 23, 2019