The most low key addictive substance on the planet. Coffee ruins lives worldwide but everybody scared to talk about it out of fear that the starbucks mermaid will pop outta your toilet and strangle you but guess what....Im into that sort of thing so bring it on starbucks. Our homeless crisis, drug epidemic, and rising divorce rates are all caused by coffee.
1) Coffee WAS affordable, that is, until starbucks came along and started charging $10 for a coffee. Now with Bidens inflation its probably $12. This is the oldest trick in the book, get people hooked on a cheap drug and then jack up the price. This is why everyone is homeless now, they blew all their money on starbucks.
2) This drug epidemic is only happening because starbucks is too expensive and we're all desperately looking for cheaper alternatives which take the form of crack, cocaine, meth, adderall, ect. These drugs were invented as a replacement for coffee, look it up!
3) Couples are divorcing because they get amped up on "the juice" and start fighting over what the best brand or some shit and before they know it theyre swinging on eachother. Baristas need to be held accountable for how many shots they give a person. After coming down off that shit when theyre flat broke in the gutter the only option left is divorce.
These are the people asking you for spare change at the store. They go to a local coffee shop and take straight shots. Sad but true reality. Coffee is the most dangerous substance on the planet
1) Coffee WAS affordable, that is, until starbucks came along and started charging $10 for a coffee. Now with Bidens inflation its probably $12. This is the oldest trick in the book, get people hooked on a cheap drug and then jack up the price. This is why everyone is homeless now, they blew all their money on starbucks.
2) This drug epidemic is only happening because starbucks is too expensive and we're all desperately looking for cheaper alternatives which take the form of crack, cocaine, meth, adderall, ect. These drugs were invented as a replacement for coffee, look it up!
3) Couples are divorcing because they get amped up on "the juice" and start fighting over what the best brand or some shit and before they know it theyre swinging on eachother. Baristas need to be held accountable for how many shots they give a person. After coming down off that shit when theyre flat broke in the gutter the only option left is divorce.
These are the people asking you for spare change at the store. They go to a local coffee shop and take straight shots. Sad but true reality. Coffee is the most dangerous substance on the planet
by anonymous February 17, 2024
Get the Coffee mug.by blackmonkey445 March 3, 2024
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I hired a coffélier to decide which coffee best suited the party I was hosting. The coffélier found a suitable dark-roast to compliment the occasion: my mother's death.
by coffélier April 20, 2024
Get the Coffélier mug.Rapid need to defecate after a cup or a sip of coffee in the morning. Is usually strengthened by a cigarette or any nicotine dispenser.
- Where have you been??
- Sorry, I had a coffee brick :(
- Yeah, better to shit beforehand than shit in bare hand...
- Sorry, I had a coffee brick :(
- Yeah, better to shit beforehand than shit in bare hand...
by jkl334 May 4, 2024
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Get the “Coffee Breath” mug.by ttayW2010 June 10, 2024
Get the Coffee mug.When one roommate wishes to get coffee, 'Coffee Bears' is texted in the house groupchat, so others may join them on their journey.
by Shark F. Kennedy June 21, 2024
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