family 

something you don't have.
father: left for the milk
mother: too fat to fit on this planet, can make things appear from thin air
step bro/uncle: sussy bakas
siblings: worst form of humans to ever be paired up

person: aww, what a cute child! where is your family?
orphanage manager: ._.

family by k1dn4m3df1ng3r December 29, 2022

Family 

Family is people who like to murder each other for fun.

My family and I own a slaughterhouse where we murder kids.

Family by Alexaiom February 21, 2023

Family 

A group who can comfortably get wasted together, and spend quality time together, playing D&D

I would love to go to this social function, but I have plans to get drunk and play D&D with my family.

Family by Drunk and Dragons April 15, 2023

family 

For queer people, referring to all other queer people as a family group that they feel part of.

Oh, that bartender is family...they might give us a discount.

family by Mithris May 16, 2023

Family 

The ones who control your world and run the matrix.

I heard he took acid and found out about the family.

Family by RandomThoughtguy January 8, 2024

family 

someone you engage in sexual activities with

hey sis suck my dick before i pound ur ass
ok i guess you are family after all

family by sigmaligmastigma July 14, 2024

Family 

For the LGBTQ+ community this word is used as a signifier to other LGBTQ+ people that you're a member. It's used in situations where discussing the community openly might not be safe.

It also implies a sense of acceptance right off the bat.

Not to assume, but are you family?

Family by randomhappenstance May 7, 2024