tp regrets

The act of saving money on cheap toilet paper resulting in instant pain the first time one wipes.(may result in loss of blood from anus)

That white cloud toilet paper isn't so soft! I already got the tp regrets, looks like I need stitches now.

by Hodgescw July 09, 2015

Cat TP

The toilet paper that spooled onto ones bathroom floor after ones feline has entertained herself with such. You then remove iut from the floor but save it.

"Dude, why is there a pile of toilet paper on the vanity next to the throne in the WC downstairs?" You: " that's cat TP that I didn't want to toss after Pussy Boots had her way with it."

by Steven W. E. August 10, 2017

TP Degree

When the worthless college degree that you struggled to earn comes in handy during the toilet paper shortage caused by Covid-19.

I thought I would never wipe my own ass with my college diploma, but Covid-19 showed me the value of a TP Degree.

by Arnie Grape March 08, 2021

Sanchezed the TP

The act of unrolling the toilet paper part way, then wiping a shit-laden finger on the tissue, then carefully re-rolling it. The future victim encounters a shitty piece of tissue, much to their horror and disgust.

Oh, gross! Some dirty bastard Sanchezed the TP and I got it on me when I was done taking a shit!

by The Pirate of Pissants December 24, 2013

TP crumblies

TP crumblies occur when women fail to evolve to proper, current hygiene standards and continue to use the archaic, unsanitary practice of toilet paper whipping (instead of a bidet), subsequently leaving trails of moist toilet paper balls scattered from clit to b-hole for their unfortunate male counterparts to find during conolingus.

I went down on Jackie last night, and there were TP crumblies all over the place.

by Noah Balboa September 04, 2015

tp condom

A cylindrical roll of toilet paper (usually made by wrapping tp around the hand) into which the penis can be inserted for mess-free fapping.

Justin may be a germophobe but that doesn't stop him from fapping into a tp condom.

by Snapchat Noots May 20, 2016

TP kernels

bits of toilet paper left on ones ass, after wiping too hard

rice sized rolls of toilet paper

As she was about to toss my salad, she said no way, because of the TP kernels in the way

If you see someone itching their ass, say "TP Kernels?"

by gsxmaer September 06, 2010