by YouHaveLigma333 May 5, 2019

Jonathan is a man who can’t really figure life out. He will listen to people with a big audience and repeats exactly what they say. If your name isn’t Jonathan than you’re probably ignorant, but that’s ok because if you’re good at something then you’re only educated on that one topic. He can’t think for himself and goes on crazy rants. His minimum speaking time is about 3 hours, if he argues it can be more than 5 hours. He will only talk about things he likes and is the most educated but man on the planet. Jonathan goes on 5 mile runs with cargo shorts below his knees and most importantly a belt. He will post every minute of his life on social media but is still a very busy man.
by anon5562 July 26, 2019

A fucking lazy diptard who doesn't come to school for multiple days in a row, and no one gives a shit. But is still surprisingly really good at school work.
by Longsholngbongtongnigga69 December 5, 2019

A complete dumbass that is looking at his friends phone right now. He smells like shit and is atleast 5 foot and is a complete retard. He always tells fake stories to his friends and says it actually happens.
Jonathan is a faggot.
by Jaba The Fuck January 27, 2020

Jonathan: Wow look at that yeeyee juice I'mma drink it
Friend: NOOO
Jonathan: I got the horses in the back :))
Hand over the toes or I'll go to trader Joe's
Friend: NOOO
Jonathan: I got the horses in the back :))
Hand over the toes or I'll go to trader Joe's
by C.A.T.H.Y March 28, 2019

A Jonathan is a clear plastic water bottle of any size filled halfway or all the way with water, stuffed with basically any piece of plastic or paper or dirt you can find and held as a keepsake. You shake it and just bring it around with you.
Walking to a job interview? Bring your homemade Jonathan with you. Funeral? Jonathan's coming with you too.
Some ideas of materials to put in your Jonathan include moldy bread, anti-brain zap tablet boxes, or anything you can find. You can purchase ready-made Jonathans in Argos.
Walking to a job interview? Bring your homemade Jonathan with you. Funeral? Jonathan's coming with you too.
Some ideas of materials to put in your Jonathan include moldy bread, anti-brain zap tablet boxes, or anything you can find. You can purchase ready-made Jonathans in Argos.
Elliot: Hey Brad! Whatcha got there?
Brad: Hi Elliott! Oh, this old thing? This is a Jonathan. I made it myself.
Brad: Hi Elliott! Oh, this old thing? This is a Jonathan. I made it myself.
by Pianopunkxo August 20, 2017

by gay cancer man February 24, 2020
