functional drunk 

A person that can have many drinks, become drunk, and still function perfectly normal. It's hard to tell whether or not this person is drunk unless you ask them to recite something.

Girl: I was so drunk last night but I had a normal texting conversation with my boyfriend.
Other girl: That's weird but you might be a functional drunk.

functional drunk by Stonerhighbye November 28, 2013

functional alcoholic 

a worthless yet admirable person who can drink everynight and still pull good grades in college or act as a normal person in a work environment.

that bitch drinks every f'n night and made a better grade than me on the test.

Or:
i saw that douche torn up last night and today he acts like mr. super employee. wtf?

functional alcoholic by d May 13, 2005

Functionally Poor 

Adjective describing a person(s) who has just enough money to go out to bars, movies, etc. but never enough to go grocery shopping

Being functionally poor, Lazar never has groceries but everyone at the bars knows him!

Functionally Poor by anonymous July 23, 2015

Functional Woman

A woman, who sexually, is only a woman when it serves her purpose. Normally she assumes the role of male in her personal and business life by taking on masculine mannerisms thus negating her as female other than an outward appearance.

“That Hilary is a functional woman. I’ll bet her husband’s cigars get more action then he does.”

Functional Woman by Leopold rabbit February 19, 2018

Functional consideration 

1. A beneficial yes to a need or want by another person.

2. To accept a request, and have an alternate motive (s).

He gave you a functional consideration, because he will benefit from it.

Functional consideration by Frank Grand April 16, 2020

Diss-Functional 

When a family not only cannot get along but insult one another in the process.

Me: My mom just called my sister a skanky ho because she referred to my dad as a skirt chasing booze hound.

Friend: You're family is so diss-functional.

Diss-Functional by dennypeg September 18, 2015

Science Fuction 

A story that just happens to have a science fiction premise, but is produced because some network, studio, or publishing hotshot thinks it will sell to middle America, not because it's any good.

"Mansquito" and the other SyFy original movies, like "Mr. Ed," are less science fiction than science fuction.

Science Fuction by Mike Boomshadow September 4, 2011