dick emergency

A condition that certain clients will have, causing them to occasionally disregard their manners when contacting a sex worker in an attempt to schedule a booking. Individuals having a dick emergency will often not pay proper attention to screening instructions, will attempt to schedule same-day even if policies state that's not offered, and will sometimes even lose grasp of basic grammar.

ring ring
sex worker: "Hello?"
client: "What are your rates?!?"
sex worker: "WOW. OK, let's start with your name first?"
client: "I'm Chad... can you accept me for a booking this afternoon?!?"
sex worker: "OK, I can see that someone is having a dick emergency today... but let's not totally forget our manners, shall we?"
client: "Sorry, yes. So may I please inquire as to your rates?"
sex worker: "They're pretty clearly stated on my web site."
client: "Where is that?"
sex worker: "You managed to find my contact info online... I'm confident that you can find this information, as well. Along with my screening process. Thank you."
click

by demergency July 8, 2019

Emergency Meal

The meal you get at a restaurant you've never been to and you are unfamiliar with all of the menu items.

Waiter: "What can I get you?" Me: "Umm, chicken strips and fries." Waiter: "That's kind of a basic choice." Me: "Sorry, it's my emergency meal."

by AbnormalJay November 23, 2016

Salsa Emergency

An emergency of the salsa variety. Usually used in the process of preparing salsa con queso while trying to find the perfect balance of salsa and cheese. Whenever there is too little or too much salsa, there's a salsa emergency. To emphasize the urgency of the situation, "Salsa Emergency!" should be shouted whenever a salsa emergency is discovered.

Salsa Emergency!!

I know you're concerned since we're usually the ones in charge of salsa emergencies.

I was preparing the salsa con queso for Cinco de Nacho and we had a salsa emergency.

by The_Hawk August 5, 2009

emergency stamp

Having stamps for emergencies. Keeping them in your wallet or your car glovebox for last minute mailing purposes

Man, I forgot to put a stamp on this and the post office is closed. I have to wait to send my love letters.

Here buddy I have my emergency

stamp for last minute mail

That is so emergency stamp

Oh I want to write this down now and send it to my friend, too bad I don’t keep emergency stamps

by TheKingEli July 9, 2018

Weed Emergency

When you have an emergency wherein everything is incredibly chill whiles you aren't high and you know that a joint would make it a lot better.

Dude." "Yeah?" "This is so chill right now.. It's like a emergency.." "What?" "Dude... It's a weed emergency.

by diggleroop54 June 21, 2011

Verge Emerge

The act of appearing, suddenly and unexpectedly, from behind a bush while shouting "Verge Emerge". Usually to scare a passer by or friend.

Seen as the opposite to Bush Push

Dude!. I was walking to uni today and someone totally pulled a verge emerge on me.

by The Sitdownasaurus May 5, 2011

Sardine Emergency

Something very important that comes up on thursday afternoon so you can miss work on Friday and go to Sevilla and eat sardines instead.

Alvaro will not be in the office today he had a sardine emergency

by Littletwerp May 3, 2008