The act of masturbating at either your or a coworker's desk in your office. It is preferrable to have a witness but the honor system can also be used.
John: Man I'm feeling better now.
Ted: Oh did you Desk Jack?
John: Yeah but not at my desk...I was over at Lynn's Desk.
Ted: Did you use an assist?
John: Yeah. I used that picture of her on vacation at the beach as an assist.
Ted: Cool.
Ted: Oh did you Desk Jack?
John: Yeah but not at my desk...I was over at Lynn's Desk.
Ted: Did you use an assist?
John: Yeah. I used that picture of her on vacation at the beach as an assist.
Ted: Cool.
by TedHollister March 27, 2011
Get the Desk Jack mug.One who sits at a desk all day but doesn't get much work done, usually because of personal web surfing or playing computer games. Derived from couch potato. In the workplace it differs from desk jockey in that although one's primary means of employment involves a desk, little work gets done.
Jim has become a real desk potato; between mahjong and minesweeper he manages to squeeze in a few hours on MySpace.
by someoneouthere September 13, 2008
Get the Desk Potato mug.The act of taking a shit on someone's desk. This warm smelly treat should only be left for someone who is very deserving. It is generally left for a boss or someone of upper management either right before, during , or right after you have quit your job. In most cases it is not necessary to accompany a resignation letter with the turd but can be a nice touch.
"I quit!" "That stupid bastard passed me up for another promotion." "I am going to give that prick a desk drop on my way out the door."
by Storm Martin March 8, 2008
Get the desk drop mug."Melanie and I started out with a very professional meeting to discuss this quarter's earnings. But, she looked so damn hot, I ended up desk diving her."
by mvernon February 4, 2009
Get the Desk Diving mug.Rounded shoulders and back acquired from sitting for hours at a desk over a computer.(special shout-out to renegadehealth.com)
by plekka November 3, 2009
Get the Desk Turtle mug.Someone who in a public place, usually a school, sits on the side of the desk and absolutely refuses to leave even if forced. Usually male.
Oh great there's a desk hermit on the side of my desk again. Taking my god damn space. I've got no elbow room anymore... arrggghhhh. GOD DAMN YOU DESK HERMIT!
by HappyDays2126 November 25, 2010
Get the Desk Hermit mug.The resultant expansion around one's middle when working behind a desk for a living, not exercising enough and eating too many biscuits.
James was super-fit when he started with the accounts department, but now he looks more like 'an egg on legs' with that desk belly he's developed.
by Zoomesy May 8, 2014
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