uptard

(тормоз по русски, if anyone reads Russian here):

a person who is neither retarded nor mentally challenged nor eccentric, but in their normal state (i.e without being UTI) is still slow on the uptake.

boy: Melissa, when is your birthday again?

girl: my name is not Melissa, it's Melanie, and are you lol an uptard? I know you are normal because you get amazing grades in chemistry and physics. my birthday, for the last time, is March 15, but you always give me flowers on March 9.

boy: I am not an uptard. Due to family tradition, i can't possibly give a girl flowers on The Ides of March, even if it's her birthday.

Melanie: are you telling me your limo is triple parked?

boy: no.

by Sexydimma February 16, 2013

Uptarded

Improved, in retard-style.

I didn't like my essay for school, so I totally uptarded it by adding bits of chewed crayon.

by Brass January 30, 2003

slow on the uptake

Used to describe someone who is simple, slow, retarded or lacking intelligence.

My ex husband and his new wife are a little slow on the uptake.

by Sandi68 April 28, 2006

uptagrafft

in Dutch means higher than the Duke

They caught him fornicating with the Duke's wife; then he stated "he was an uptagrafft," and then they proceeded to bring the Duke's daughter

by mugs1989 December 3, 2010

Uptarded

To make more retarded/slower than before...

I uptarded my honda by adding a wing and body kit

by deftonz1 August 11, 2003

uptanker

It is the comapnion to the drydocker. To rid a commode of its flushing water, and to then deficate in the tank on the rear of the commode.

The janitor hates us after last night. They got both a drydocker and a uptanker.

by Don August 29, 2004

Uptarded

adv., An improvement upon ones former status as retarded. This is simply a change, not a state of being.

Yo, ever since Leroy got hooked on phonics he started gettin' uptarded and shit...too bad he's still a dumb biznitch

by Lonewolf March 17, 2003