Poor Man's Toupee

A greasy, dirty baseball cap worn by college students and otherwise poor dudes to hide their receding hairline.

"Why did Randy wear that old baseball cap to the wedding reception?"

answer: "Because he's going bald. That's his Poor Man's Toupee."

by real concerned citizen February 23, 2012

Toupee

A mysterious, furry mammal that resides on the heads of aging, bald men.

Should there be an accent somewhere in toupee? I think so.

by Diggity Monkeez January 23, 2005

Chocolate toupee

When you pull out of your girl after anal sex and you've got a little bit of poo on the end of your cock

Hmmm, that's a nice chocolate toupee you've got on there Mr Cock.

by Mr Sausage December 9, 2008

Tulip Toupee

A tulip toupee is the act of having anal sex with a partner and upon ejaculation, the thruster with his both hands, grabs as much hair possible on his lovers head and pulls as hard as possible. This action constricts the recievers anal canal, greatly enhancing the the thrusters orgasm. Hopefully, if you pull hard enough, you will have two handfuls of hair. Take this freshly removed hair and slap it on your takers sperm leaking butthole, pull up your pants and run out the radar yelling " (persons name) got a tulip toupee"

Hey todd, did you get a haircut? No john, frank was over last night and gave me a tulip toupee. Wow todd, those missing patches of hair, that looks like shit. Well john, you think this is bad, you should see eric!

by Chicks dig radar guys October 3, 2008

Salmon Toupee

A very hairy vagina that is overgown, unkept, dirty and smells extremely fishy.

Jorge picked up a hot babe at the local tavern and took her home for a romp in the sack. However, he became overwhelmed with nausea after she disrobed and revealed her Salmon Toupee. Jorge gagged as he ran out the door.

by Eaton Holgoode June 19, 2009

Toupeedar

The ability to tell when somebody is wearing a toupee.

"I had no idea Ted Danson was going bald. I have the worst toupeedar."

by darrenoia July 2, 2009

Texas toupee

A Texas toupee is a cowboy hat (usually a Stetson), so named because it easily hides the pate of a balding cowboy. The popularity of the Stetson in Texas gave rise to the alliterative term.

No hairpieces for me, ma'am -- if I'm hidin' my bald spot, I'll do it behind a Texas toupee.

Man, that is a serious Texas toupee. How much did you pay for it?

I'll skip the hat store. It's all Texas toupees in there, anyway.

by Talmanes December 9, 2008