under the carpet

When someone is very obviously and flamboyantly gay, but they completely deny any homosexual tendencies. Just like if a person were to hide under a carpet, it's very obvious that they are hiding and are doing a completely insufficient job. They are fooling no one.

Gay: "So, I heard you are gay..."
Under the Carpet: "Nooo! Why would you think that. I like

womennnn."
Gay: "Bi?"
Under the Carpet: "whaAttt?"
Gay: "Don't lie to me. I've heard stories."
Under the Carpet: "Whaaat?! Noooo. Nu-uhhh."
Gay: "Oh come onnnnn, you are so gay!"
Under the Carpet: "y....N....no..."

by theknownunknown October 8, 2009

Mop the Carpet

The sexual act of ejaculating onto a females pubic hair, then proceeding to spread it around with your penis.

Andrea let Grant mop the carpet for her last night.

by magicmike11 February 25, 2014

Does the carpet match the drapes?

A question used to indicate the belief that a woman's hair is dyed. "Carpet" being the pubic hair and "drapes" being the hair on her head.

"Check out that hot blonde over there. Do you think the carpet matches the drapes?"

by bubba May 5, 2004

burned the carpet

Having sex with a woman until her vagina hurts, usually caused by a lack of lubrication.

Manwhore003: Man that bish over there is walkin kinda funny.
Manwhore004: Yeah, I burned the carpet last night, she was out of K-Y.

by Dr4T7 February 16, 2006

Laying down the Carpet

The act of laying down, or placing a single or a double segment of toilet paper on the surface of the water in the toilet bowl, in order to stop or significantly reduce "splash backs" when relieving oneself.

"I felt the urge to take the biggest crap yesterday and I was afraid I might get some splash-back, so I laid down the carpet before I initiated. 60 percent of the time, it works.... EVERY TIME!"
"Laying down the carpet saved my ass from years of shitty water splashing my asshole."

by Roogz April 9, 2008

Does the carpet match the drapes

One's pubic hair matching the hair on their head.

Often used to find out natural hair color.

In a sentence: "Does the carpet match the drapes?"

Me: Girl you know what I found out the other day?!

Friend: What?

Me: Britney Spears IS a natural blonde!

Friend: Does the carpet match the drapes?

Me: YEEEHH

by Gigi1000 December 30, 2010

Stain the carpet

When you pull out and cum in the girls pubic hair

Some people like to cum on the tits, but I like to stain the carpet

by BC5 January 25, 2009