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The Calendar Option

A technique of temporarily “saving face” with colleagues, bosses, customers, and auditors by changing every calendar and clock in a particular workplace in an effort to cover up a missed deadline. “The Calendar Option” is the “Nuclear Option” of work place fault misdirection. “The Calendar Option” should only be used when the monumental task of changing dozens of calendars, clocks, and watches pales in comparison to actually completing ones assigned task on time. Hacking of local computer and cellular networks is usually preferred, as these sources represent the primary ways of determining dates and times. “The Calendar Option” will buy you enough time to prepare a resume, write a cover page, and apply for other jobs in the timespan prior to your superiors realizing you’ve elegantly gamed them to death. Worried about future employment? Don’t! One who can successfully employ “The Calendar Option” is often far under-employed anyway. This fact is clearly demonstrated as the time, energy, intelligence and sheer skill required to pull off the maneuver could be accomplished by no less than an American, tier 1, Special Forces operator who is also a Ninja.
Are you late? Can’t blame a colleague? Can’t blame your computer? Can’t blame the weather? Don’t even bother! Just employ “The Calendar Option” and you won’t need to blame a thing because the calendar and clocks say “you’re not late!”

late nuclear option option ninja bad employee blame
by Darren Besert January 21, 2016
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the call of the void

the call of the void is the thought to jump off the ledge you are standing on; wondering what would happen if you drove your car into another car or person; it is the thought of "I could kill someone so easily right now" when holding a knife, hammer, or what have you. it is the insane desire of our unconscious, but it is nothing to worry about unless you relish and enjoy these thoughts.
last week i visited the grand canyon with my girlfriend. as we stood on a ledge and looked out over the world, the call of the void entered my head:

"one little nudge and she's dead"

i shuddered as the thought crossed my mind, and it left my mind as soon as it entered.
by murka durka September 17, 2013
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the call of the void

That voice in your head telling you to do what you shouldn't do, or what it would horrify you to do. Poe called it the "Imp of the Perverse". Freud called it the "Death Drive". It often seems sadistic or suicidal.
Being on top of a building and having the urge to jump.
Getting cut off on the highway and thinking about ramming the car in front of you.
Walking down the street with someone you like and thinking about shoving them into traffic.
Probably makes you feel guilty or insane, since a "normal" person wouldn't have these urges. It happens to almost everyone.
Every time I stand in front of a high window, I hear the call of the void. I could so easily break the window and dive out. It would be so peaceful once I landed and died.

Then I shake my head to try to get rid of the thought and move on. The thought doesn't go away, but I don't jump.
by Jack O'clades January 27, 2016
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The Caleb Finn Roach

The Caleb Finn Roach is the most rare species of Cockroaches. It is found in Melbourne Australia. The only other place you would find one would be online.
The Caleb Finn Roach is the most fun to find.
by AnImAl.scientist December 8, 2019
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answer the call

Helping out a bro in need. Putting the bros of bros before thee hoes.
Answer the call is helping a bro out that is in need without hesitation.
Doug needed help to beat Nicole in monopoly so Brandon answered the call and gave him money.
by Doug Brandon and Damen November 28, 2014
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the call is coming from inside the house

when someone says something that is hypocritical, metaphor for self sabotage
friend #1: “some of yall must’ve interpreted this part wrong..”
friend #2: “the call is coming from inside the house girl!”
by milevenisreal August 2, 2022
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The Caleb Finn Roach

The Caleb Finn Roach is a rare type of cockroach species. Specially is found in Australia. For a short time it was in the US but it was exterminated. So now the only place you can find The Caleb Finn Roach, is in Australia.
“Is that The Caleb Finn Roach?” “Yes it is.”
by AnImAl.scientist December 8, 2019
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