spanking the monkey

Taking things in to your own hand or a hand trusted by you.

I woke up last night and found my monkey standing up. I spanked him and he went back to sleep.

by David October 27, 2003

spanking the monkey

masturbating

"I wanna spank the monkey"

by C-dawgg January 19, 2003

Spank The Monkey

When you own a giant stuffed monkey and spank him.

Chrys Starr likes to spank the monkey live on Facebook!

by Walden Scott February 18, 2019

Spank the Monkey

masterbation- male only.

I was going to spend the day building shelters for the homeless, but decided to stay home and spank the monkey all day instead.

by Johny Casino December 21, 2009

spanking the monkey

M

Don't disturb him he's in his bedroom spanking the monkey.

by Not Bob at all March 10, 2018

Spank the monkey

An American state sport, in other words, jacking off. Numerous other ways of saying this include Beating the meat, playing the devil’s fiddle (for you Christian white guys).

Viktor: Dude, you gotta come see this photo of Mia Khalifa!
James: Gimme a sec, I’m gonna go spank the monkey...

by Goddamnit James February 7, 2018

to spank the monkey

to masturbate... to do the the dirty deed, in a few words to deal with your sexual needs by yourself

Guy 1: How did it go last night?
Guy 2: Not so good, so I had to spank the monkey!

by Monkey Business March 18, 2011